Your Guide to Having a One-Night Stand at SxSW, Whether You're Into Venture Capitalists Or Teen CEOs

It’s that time of year again. The magical mid-March week where all the people who use words like “real-time,” “disrupt,” and “programmatic” depart from their day-to-day and swarm to Austin. They go to SXSW Interactive saying that they are looking for “the next big thing.” They say they're hunting “new business opportunities,” and “future-forward trends.

We know all know what they are actually going for. Casual sex. Well to be fair, free cocktails, copious tacos, and casual sex. Hot steamy casual sex had with semi-strangers on a blowup mattress in that Airbnb house they're sharing with all their coworkers. Sex where the only connection you risk having is on LinkedIn (aside from inevitably running into each other at Stubbs BBQ the following day).

Hey, no judgement though. Santa Monica's Mistress creative agency just wants to make sure you are set up for success, and, as such, they've created this handy-dandy guide to having a one night stand at SXSW. It’s easy to use — they’ve matched each type of guy or lady to a real SXSW session they’ll likely be attending, so that all you have to do is brush off your hangover and show up.

See you there!

Images: Courtesy of Mistress Creative