14 Tips From Sleeping Beauty's Lifestyle Blog

by Mary Grace Garis

If you're still feeling wary that it's Friday the 13th, I have some good news for you: you could probably just sleep it off. Friday is also World Sleep Day, a holiday that raises awareness about sleep disorders, stresses the importance of sleep, and encourages us to get more rest. Naturally, I can only look to one person for tips on getting enough sleep: the original royal snoozer, Sleeping Beauty. While the day may rightfully belong to Cinderella, Queen Elsa, or, you know, Jason Vorhees, I have to give this one up to the princess with the blondest bangs.

Secret? I actually love Sleeping Beauty. I think it's a beautifully animated film. Princess Aurora, ironically, is my second favorite princess after Belle. This may come as a shock since, unlike Belle, she's hardly progressive and doesn't really have a definite personality. Honestly, nearly every incarnation of the character has her defined as "sweet, beautiful, and falls asleep a lot." I think what the character needs to do is follow in the foot steps of other famous blondes like Gwyneth Paltrow and Blake Lively and get herself a lifestyle blog, to better bolster her brand.

So in honor of World Sleep Day, here are 14 tips that I think would jump right off a Princess Aurora lifestyle blog.

1. "Birds and rodents make for great soundboards!"

"I glommed this tip off my friend Snow. I was searching around for a new therapist to work through my abandonment issues, and she recommended these absolutely darling animals that were conveniently in my neck of the woods! You MUST get a team of professional woodland creatures for those times you need to vent! Nothing else will do!"

2. "Don't forget to get some fresh air and exercise! My personal favorite work out is a spontaneous waltz!"

"My trainer is an owl, and he's divine."

3. "Be sure to throw a dusty brown blanket over your head when you go out, to protect your delicate skin from the sun."

"Who's the fairest in the land now?"

4. "Also never leave the house without putting on a bone crushing corset over your everyday clothes."

"What if you run into your Prince Charming? Boasting anything less than a nine inch waist in public is unacceptable."

5. "For stunning, bouncy golden hair, try being born with good genes!"

"PRINCESS genes, preferably!"

6. "Life Hack: for a spotless house, get your fairy godmothers to clean it!"

"Nothing works better!"

7. "Life Hack: need a killer cake for a party? Just get your fairy godmothers to bake it!"

"It's what I always do in a pinch!"

8. "Life Hack: if you're looking for a jaw-dropping birthday dress, get your fairy godmothers to make one!"

"I'm just kidding, of course. Go with Chanel."

9. "Remember, only peasants have one fairy godmother. Indulge in a life of luxury, and always have three at hand!"

"What's that? You can't afford a fairy godmother because you have student loans to pay off? Hmmmm..."

10. "It's always a wise idea to touch everything that looks foreign to you."

"Be adventurous. What could possibly go wrong?"

11. "Nothing cures sadness like a 100 year power nap."

"And if I can get woken up by a kiss from a guy I just met, all the better!"

12. "Always go to bed with a full face of make up."

"They don't call you Sleeping Moderately Attractive. Make sure you always make an effort, whether you're going out for a night on the forest, or staying in for several nights in bed. Think about how good that rouge will be for your pores!"

13. "Be wary of cosmetic surgery."

"I think we all know who I'm talking about when I say that fairytale make up can sometimes diminish the beauty that was previously true to your name. Ahem. Belle."

14. "You can have it all! All you need is magic!"

"Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!"

Images: Giphy (15)