Life

This Surprising Quality Is Sexy, Says Science

A recent study has found that modesty and humility are the key to successful relationships. The study out of the University of North Texas examined 459 couples to see just how positively (or negatively) humility affected them. It was found that a healthy dose of humility resulted in greater commitment, satisfaction, and overall forgiveness within the relationships. But are we surprised? Like, really?

By Merriam-Webster’s definition, “humility” is the quality or state of not thinking you’re better than other people.” You are essentially of the understanding that we are all equal and no matter what your background or current standing in society, we’re all on the same playing field. Since that is the case, it seems rather confusing that a relationship wouldn’t naturally consist of humility. If you believed yourself to be better or less than someone, especially with someone whom you shared a bed, wouldn’t you abandon ship? It must be depressing to feel such an imbalance in respect.

The study also found that humility within a romantic relationship also strengthens social bonds, something the authors of the study call “Social Bonds Hypothesis,” and is the reason people who are one half of a couple have no qualms about making sacrifices for their partner. It’s within those partnerships where ego and selfishness are not part of the equation that commitment to each other thrives, because of course it does. When you see someone as an equal, why wouldn’t?

Relationships are built upon trust and respect; respect cannot exist if one party believes they are somehow superior to the other. Although I’m not sure why anyone would stay in such a relationship, considering the existence of the study that focuses on the importance of humility in a relationship, such relationships must exist.

However, I think if you genuinely love and care for some, in all realms, then there is a place in the middle where equality is a component. While this study pinpoints that humility is essential in the success of long-term relationships, I’d like to pinpoint that if the person you love can’t be humble enough to concede to the fact that you’re just as good/awesome/important as they are, then it’s time to reevaluate what it means to be in a relationship.

Images: Nathan O'Nions/Flickr; Giphy(2)