If you're someone who's already prone to anxiety surrounding social media and its relentless tallying of our digital popularity, now might be the time to stop reading because this news is bound to throw you into a deep, unwavering depression. Even though she was only born 5 days ago, Ioni James Conran, Coco Rocha's daughter, already has 22,000 Instagram followers, according to Page Six — aka, more than you will probably ever have.
The infant's immediate popularity shouldn't really come as a surprise, given she's got a pretty famous mom who's no social media schlub herself, with almost 1 million followers. So, of course, when Rocha posted a 'gram of the newly born Ioni and tagged her own account in it, thousands flocked to baby's Instagram to try and see more adorable pics of Rocha's little girl.
And from the looks of Ioni's first week on earth, this newborn is already poised to steal her mom's title as the new queen of posing, striking quite a few camera-ready looks from the confines of her crib. This little tot is already so emotive, she could even give Derek Zoolander a run for his money with her interpretation of Blue Steel!
Now, while I am all for adorable baby pictures, there's still something about creating unique social media accounts for small children that weirds me out. Of course, parents should be allowed to raise their children as they see fit, and if part of that life plan involves building up a social media presence for them from literal day 1, then so be it. But this new trend of getting babies online before they're even cognizant of the Internet seems a bit scary to me.
Sharing snaps of the newborn with friends and family is obviously expected, but sharing the first days of your baby's life with twenty-two thousand total strangers? That's a whole other story. But even though Coco Rocha might seem like a parent gone social media crazy, a New York Times article from last year suggests more and more babies are getting online early.
The latest trend for Millennial parents is to set up their baby's social media accounts across the board (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc.) so that they'll have them once they're old enough to take control over their own profiles. Not only that, but modern parents are actually googling their prospective baby names prior to giving birth to make sure their child will have a totally unique name and won't have to fight for digital space with other, generically-named babies.
Though the whole idea seems pretty gross, in an age where a Web presence increasingly defines our daily existence, it also seems sadly logical. I have a sneaking suspicion, however, that by the time these overly Instagrammed babies hit their teenage years, if their social media accounts aren't already outdated, they'll rebel by living totally undocumented lives. And that definitely wouldn't be the worst thing.
Images: Ioni James Conran/Instagram (2)