Finally, finally, fiiiinallllyyy. The Bravo Gods have answered my numerous prayers at the Church of Andy Cohen, because the Real Housewives of New York is back in all of it's Upper East Side glory. The seventh season of RHONY is sure to be a season full of Scary Island — Kelly Killoren Bensimon reference — with the return of Bethenny Frankel, aka one of the OGs of NYC. But before we get too excited about what will happen in the newest season — and from the looks of the trailer, a lot — let us remember back to what did happen in Season 6 of Real Housewives Of New York.
Season 6 was full of arguments, throwing things, "#gates" (#bookgate, #leggate), and all of that makes for a very happy RHONY fan. Every housewife fought — literally every single woman had an issue with another one — and chances are that's going to spill over into Season 7, since Season 6 wasn't that long ago, and you know Ramona doesn't let things go very easily. If you missed Season 6 of RHONY, then I suggest you stop what you're doing and watch it now, but if you're just a little hazy on who fought, then I've got your Season 6 RHONY recap covered.
We Met Kristen Taekman
Meet Kristen. Mother, wife, model-who-was-told-she-looks-her-actual-age. Kristen, who was kind of a snooze in the beginning of the season, broke away from the First Season Drama-Free Character that some women adhere to. Kristen jumped right into the thick of it — the thick of it being The Wrath Of Ramona — and somehow lived to tell the tale and come back for another season.
#Bookgate: Carole Vs. Aviva
Aviva and Carole, Two Author Friends: A Novel will never hit a Barnes & Noble (or an iBooks store) near you, because these two will never be friends. Aviva accused Carole, a professional writer, of using a ghostwriter for her very well-known book What Remains, and anyone who has written their own college essay knows YOU DO NOT ACCUSE A REAL WRITER OF USING A GHOSTWRITER. It's, like, the rules of feminism. Aviva, who did use a ghostwriter for her book Leggy Blonde: A Memoir, fueled this fight all season long, and it was not pretty.
Heather Vs. Aviva
Aviva made the rounds last season, but she really met her match in Heather Yummie Tummie Thomson. Heather — Holla — was accused of fighting like P. Diddy/ Puffy/ Diddy would, by Aviva, which wasn't much of an argument, but it was enough to get Heather angry and Aviva angry and restaurant owners in the Upper East side nailing down their tables.
Ramona Threw A Lot Of Stuff At Kristen
You know what they say... Money can't buy you class, but it can buy you a private jet out of the Berkshires and take you straight to a Molly Sims party in The Hamptons after you throw a glass at a woman's face and don't want to apologize. That's the Countess LuAnn lyric, right? I don't know if Ramona had a twitchy arm or something, but she started a habit of throwing things at Kristen this past season, and I'm hoping for her lawyer's sake that she's quit cold-turkey. Total Throw Count: Two (wine in the hot tub, glass in the Berkshires).
Ramona Vs. Sonja
It could have been a lot worse, but these "sisters" hit a rough patch when Ramona started smack talking about Sonja's very questionable finances. It was something we were all thinking — where is Sonja's money coming from? Does she even have any? When is her toaster oven coming out? — but Ramona said it... On camera... To all of the other women, and that just wasn't cool. Good news is, they got over it.
The Women Went To Montana
And there was nothing to do! OK, maybe there were technically things to do, but not things I want to watch the housewives do. We watched Kristen rappel down rocks — and have a breakdown — we saw Sonja and LuAnne fight — because Sonja has a very chatty facialist who supposedly knows about LuAnne's sex life — Heather was told she was bossy... it was not a fun trip. Plus, it wasn't glam. I want pools of liquid gold, men feeding people grapes, and an inappropriate amount of bangles for the beach, not GPS forest games. Sorry, Kristen, but just take a back seat to the vacation planning this season.
And Aviva threw her leg, because the only "fake thing about her is THIS."
Images: Mathieu Young/Bravo; Giphy (7)