10 Sex Selfie Fails, Because Apparently Only Barbie And Ken Can Get These Shots Right
Somewhere along the line, Instagram sex selfies became a thing. In addition to the all-reigning selfie, there are now also belfies, delfies (or ussies), shelfies, welfies, and probably a hundred other disgusting names for photographs that one can take of oneself (or one’s butt, or oneself with one’s best friend, or . . . you get the idea). Sex selfies sound like the definition of a bad plan, but a quick Instagram search yields 46,024 #aftersex shots, 12,628 #aftersexselfie posts and 877 #sexselfies, which means quite a few of us are getting it on only to shout it off the electronic rooftops.
I suppose it makes sense: If we’re documenting every second of our lives, from the blueberry smoothie we drink and yoga poses we pretzel into every morning to the steak frite and bubblebath we indulge in at night, why not post some self-styled sex shots?
Many of the #sexselfies have nothing to do with actual sex — lots of fully dressed couples making weird faces and just regular (or regular-ish) old selfies pepper the feeds. That said, it seems as though people are not shy about posting actual sex selfies, or variations thereof, which can be bizarre at best and downright disturbing at worst. Here are the bad and the ugly — and one great one at the end, for good measure.
1. The jokey what-did-I do? shot
Well, he asks a good question.
2. The couple tagged the picture as a #sexselfie, but they're not having sex at all, but instead making silly faces
Folks, bad news: this isn't a sex selfie. The best part is that this Instagram user has posted multiple shots just like this one.
3. The artsy we-just-banged-in-this-perfect-light shot
I know that feeling, but maybe hold off on the IG, guys.
4. I get the joke, but nope, this is definitely not a sex selfie
#filedwrong. Chinese food on pizza doesn't even look good.
5. When You Think You're Being Romantic ...
.. and then you call your girlfriend a bloody nag in your caption.
6. Wait, this is a sex selfie?
Perhaps this hashtag is being used a little too liberally.
7. Maybe a little more of a sex fail, period
Because no one is enjoying this.
8. "When you take off the beer goggles"
This is especially a fail considering how many people search for Easter porn.
9. The SEE? I just had sex shot
Thanks for the proof? I guess?
10. This shot is just a reminder how many people text during sex.
Snapchat can wait.
To finish things off, this is the kind of sex selfie that we should all think about posting more of, because it's awesome:
Yup, this was a #sexselfie. The best kind.
Images: Sandra/Flickr; doominno/Instagram; eduardogamez_/Instagram; livelifelindo/Instagram; stevecuff/Instagram; dickyt91/nstagram; punkt_aus_amen/Instagram; xuxoxan/Instagram; martyako/Instagram; superpreppystud/Instagram; dd0permann/Instagram; bmbena101/Instagram;