Y'all know there are plenty of different shoe options to protect your feet from the elements and hard earth. And while you’re welcome to grace your phalanges with sandals and flats, there are some peeps who prefer a more architectural, arguably aesthetically pleasing, option: Women who wear heels. Heels come in all different shapes and sizes, from platforms to flatforms, from stilettos to pumps. But since basically everyone has to wear shoes for the better part of their lives, each individual usually has a favorite style. For me, that preference is, you guessed it, heels.
IMHO, heels are the finishing touch to each outfit. I will occasionally — out of requirement for the day’s events — reach for a pair of Converse or embellished sandals to pair with my everyday ensembles, ultimately choosing to avoid heels. But a part of me always dies inside when I know I have the perfect pair of stilettos to wear with a certain outfit, but can't do so out of necessity. I guess it doesn’t help that I have all my heels organized by color and height on a book shelf in my bedroom, tempting me to no end. I can’t help but admire the beautiful pieces of, as I like to call them, art. They’re aerodynamic, gorgeous, confidence-boosters, and I can walk in them. What more could a girl want?
But heels have a reputation of being fancy, difficult to walk in, and painful, so they attract wads of attention that is sometimes wanted, sometimes unwanted. If you’re wearing heels, you’re bound to hear something about it. Whether it’s complementary, rude, or straight up mean, here are nine things people who wear heels are tired of hearing:
1. “Do you really want to wear those?”
Like everything I’m wearing, from my midi rings to my graphic t-shirt, I’m wearing it for a reason. Maybe I like it, maybe I’m trying to make a statement, maybe it’s just trendy and I jumped on the bandwagon. Regardless, I decided to wear heels for a reason and you should respect my decision. So don’t sneer and ask me if I really want to wear my six-inch platforms with socks, because I put them on for a reason. I may just be going to the supermarket, but I want to wear my favorite shoes and feel fabulous doing so.
2. “I’d rather die than wear heels.”
If that’s not an exaggeration, I don’t know what is. While we’re all guilty of making hyperbolic comparisons and statements, this is a horrible thing to say to someone who wears heels often. Just like any other decision you make about what to put on your body, there is usually a reason for it. Sure, heels aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but that doesn’t mean you have to spoil my day by ridiculously connecting heels to death. I mean, you’re welcome to walk around in oxfords all day long. That’s not my business, and you don’t see me telling you about how I’ll die if I ever wear a pair. Even if I might...
3. “How is the weather up there?”
If you’re on the shorter side, you might resort to heels for some added height. If you’re taller, heels might make you the tallest person in the room. I stand at 5’7”, so I’m not exceptionally tall. That being said, there have been occasions when I've wore heels to an event and ended up being the tallest person in the room. Naturally, when someone magically grows a few inches by simply slipping on a pair of platforms or stilettos, it’s hard not to take notice. But that doesn’t give anyone permission to be rude about it.
4. “I’m jealous that you can pull those off.”
There are lots of trends that I have passed on either because I don’t understand them or I just don’t feel like I could "pull them off." But the great thing about shoes is that anyone and everyone can rock them. Shoes come in all shapes, forms, and sizes, and many brands even cater to specific needs, so the limit does not exist when it comes to footwear possibilities. And don’t for a minute think that you can’t rock heels because everyone can. It just takes some practice and getting used to, and maybe even a special trick, but I have no doubt that you can pull them off, too.
5. “OMG! How do you walk in heels that high?”
Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot. Fine, it’s not as easy as it seems. But it’s very possible. For example, take Victoria Beckham: I guarantee you every photo that you find of her, she’ll be wearing heels. She’s known to feel uncomfortable in flats, and I have friends and acquaintances who share that sentiment. While some people might be born with the talent of walking effortlessly in heels, the rest of us just have to learn and practice. Break in your heels by wearing socks with them, walking around the house in them, and always walk heel to toe. Everyone can walk in heels; it’s just going to take a little more effort than getting used to your house slippers.
6. “Aren’t you dying to take those off?”
No. Not at all. I promise. Okay, fine. Yes, I’m dying to take them off. But if I’m not complaining about it, then leave me be. I find the more I talk about how badly my feet feel suffocated in a pair of heels, the more they hurt. So if I’m teetering in a pair of heels at the end of the day, don’t mind me. I obviously think it’s worth it, and your comments are not welcome.
7. “Why are you walking like a baby dinosaur?”
Listen, not everyone can walk effortlessly in heels á la Karlie Kloss on the runway. But I had the guts to put them on and at the end of the day, it all boils down to how I feel in my shoes, even if I do look like a baby dinosaur or a rhino trying to dance ballet. Not everyone can be the epitome of grace in heels, not even models whose job it is to not stumble or trip. So even though I might look like a baby dinosaur stomping my way around town, I feel confident and stylish and I am loving it.
8. “Why would you ever spend money on those?”
If I fall in love with a pair of heels at the department store, no price tag could stop me from walking away without them. That’s not true, I’m definitely a girl on a budget but I’m still going to try and find every single way to purchase them because I think they’re worth it. Heels are investments. If you choose the right pair that you feel comfortable and confident in, they can last you months, if not years. And if you choose a basic pair, whether it’s a black leather pump or a nude platform, they’ll go with everything in your wardrobe as well. So joke's on you because my money is very well spent.
9. “Have you seen the heels with the red soles?”
If you’re referring to Christian Louboutin shoes, then yes. I have seen the heels with the red soles, and yes I have been dreaming of them ever since I first laid eyes on a pair. And of course I’m embarrassed for you that you even asked me that question. If you know a person who wears heels on a regular basis, the chances that they know about Louboutin shoes are extremely high. They’re arguably the most recognizable heel in the world because of their signature red sole, and shoe fanatics are well versed in their gravitas, so don’t underestimate them. Now, if you want to have a conversation on which Pigalle is your spirit animal, then let’s set a date for coffee because who knows how long I could talk about that.
Images: Fotolia; Giphy