12 Reasons Cat Owners Are The Only People Worth Dating (Sorry Not Sorry, Dog People)
Although most of the time, stereotypes are bad and incorrect, there are a few that aren't entirely wrong. They save your brain from the energy of constantly sizing up frequent situations. Of course, they are not always correct, but sometimes they're on the nose. Usually this is the case when the stereotype in question relates to something being delicious or cute; If billions of people think cupcakes are yummy, or that pandas are adorable, they can't possibly all be wrong. It's also pretty true that you can make a lot of likely accurate assumptions about a person based on their pet preference. For example, everybody already knows that dating a cat owner is best. (And as a cat owner, I am totally biased in this claim, but it does not make me wrong.) I'm not saying that dog people are miserable and not worth dating, but like, there's just no way they can offer you the complete happiness and overall quality of life that cat people bring to relationships. You wouldn't be unhappy dating a non-cat person, just... less happy.
It's generally quite easy to spot a cat owner. They move with a delicate grace the untrained, inattentive eye may miss. They smolder seriously, emanating an ethereal aura of cat fur and dander. By this virtue, cat owners are not for the weak of heart. Well, OK, scratch that: Cat owners could make for totally helpful accountants, fashion consultants, or psychics for the weak of heart. But in the lover scope? Cat owners have got a lot of passion. We know how to have a ball, throw down in bed, and/or just chill.
Here are more excellent reasons why dating a cat owner is the best thing you could ever hope to achieve in life:
We are not easily grossed out
Which makes us pretty laid back road trip companions. No public restroom could ever be grosser than that one time our cat did that... one thing. ::shudder::
So yeah, go ahead and fart. We probably won't even notice.
We know how to chill
Bonding with our fuzzy cat babies is easy. It involves extended periods of chilling. If laying completely still and horizontal are your things, set your sights on a cat person.
We always have extra lint rollers
Listen, just because we take pride in our fashionable cat fur halos doesn't mean we are delusional. Sometimes it's essential to ~blend~ with the non-cat people of the world and do a quick lint roll. Therefore, anyone dating us can totally reap the benefits of such polished luxuries. And yeah, we keep them everywhere: Bathroom, glove compartment, desk, bedroom. So there are plenty to borrow. REJOICE. YOUR LINT ROLLING DREAMS ARE ALL COMING TRUE.
We're super smart
A recent study shows folks who identify as "cat people" generally perform better on tests. Brains are sexy. (So are cats. Duh.)
We're genuinely unique individuals
The same study suggests people more drawn to cats are less likely to conform. Dance to the beat of the cat owner drum! I'd demonstrate the pattern now but we are all special snowflakes, so I can't.
We respect snacks...
Nothing like a little grazing to secure a good mood all dang day.
Did something sucky that needed to be done? You deserve a treat for that, and your cat owning person might even so much as instigate that.
We're cool, calm, and collected
Petting cats physically relaxes a person. It's safe to assume they pet their little feline pal frequently, because cat people are also good people, and good people pet cats. It's pretty much the cutest form of therapy ever.
We won't play you
Science shows us cat owners are less deceptive and therefore less likely to try to manipulate partners. Cat owners tell it like it is. Which might sting at times, but is ultimately a service to you.
We don't need you
Comfortable independence is crucial in any relationship. It's way too much and basically insane to expect two people to wanna hang 24/7. Cat owners know this, without a doubt. And TBH, that's pretty hot.
Seriously, how else does an actual cat owner tolerate all the famous cat mumbo jumbo online? Perseverance, patience, dedication. The internet may be misrepresenting cats like nobody's business, but cat owners ain't breakin' soon. That clearly leads to...
We're better in bed
Guess what else calls for serious endurance? Hey man, I'm just connecting the dots for you. (Insert incredibly subtle winking face here.)