If Seth & Summer’s Kid Had Their Own 'O.C.' Spinoff Show, It'd Look Like This

We all know that The O.C. ended with Seth Cohen marrying Summer Roberts instead of me, and we all know what comes after marriage: the systematic letting-go-of-oneself's-appearance. Oh, and a baby. And it makes me wonder, what kind of child would Cohen: The Next Generation be like? Moreover, would we be able to manufacture a The O.C. spinoff TV show about that?

Hey, it's a little premature, but not impossible. After all, Boy Meets World got that sort of treatment with Girl Meets World, which involves Cory and Topanga's spawn raising all sorts of tween hell. Besides, our generation is so deeply rooted in nostalgia that people are probably secretly yearning for more of The O.C.! And luckily for you, I already have a premise set up.

The year is 2027. Having relocated to New York long ago (essentially making Seth's yearly trips to ComicCon SO much easier) Seth and Summer are busy raising their 15-year-old son, who is attractive, but awkward and desperately trying to figure out who he is. Will a swift injection of new friends and a handful of old friends help him through the trials and tribulations of his rich, snobby kid high school (obviously, St. Jude's School For Boys)?

I don't know. But I do know that these things would happen if Seth and Summer's kid had an O.C. spin-off.

The poor guy would have an obvious identity crisis.

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Little Ben Gibbard Cohen would have NO set personality, aside from the token Cohen trait of ceaseless insecurity. Raised by a solid comic book nerd and a valley-girl-turned-activist, he knows nothing but vegan eating and every lyric on Death Cab For Cutie's Transatlanticism. But, does he know what HE wants? He's about to find out.

Ryan would have to stand in as the Sandy Cohen figure.

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He wouldn't be particularly great at it, mind you. He'd visit Seth from time to time, and Ben Gibbard Cohen would ask for advice on girls and stuff (essentially because his father has a singular well of knowledge to draw from).

"I dated a girl once... beautiful, popular, and fragile. We were heads over heels in love for a very long time," Ryan muses, puffing on a cigarette.

"Well, what happened?" asks little Ben Gibbard.

"She got into a horrible car crash and died in my arms." Ryan crushes his cigarette, gets in his car, and drives away blasting Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'."

Sandy and Kirsten would be all tuckered out from the previous set of teenagers shenanigans.

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Solidly in San Francisco, Sandy and Kirsten would have NO time to hear about Seth and Summer's anxieties about raising confused young Ben Gibbard, and the poor child's own issues. Every once in a while Ben Gibbard would text him, asking, "Hey Pop-Pop, can I ask you a question?" to which he'd almost always respond, "Sry, BG, at Yogalates with Nana Kirsten right now."

Sophie Rose would show up at random times, having blossomed into a horrible little monster.

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Following in the great tradition of Kaitlin Cooper and Hailey Nichol, Seth's little sister has grown up into the veritable worst. No amount of Sandy Cohen lectures has calmed down this vodka-swilling NYU drop-out, who alternates mornings passed out on her brother's couch and nights out partying with her married 36-year-old boyfriend, Chuck Bass.

In her way, she will be the greatest character on the show.

Taylor Townsend would be the eccentric, high strung French teacher.

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She just needs to be involved, OK?

Bagels would have a starring role.

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Third billing after Rachel Bilson.

Images: Giphy (6)