There's A Floating Bar And Pizzeria In The Middle Of The Ocean, And I Will Swim There If I Have To — PHOTOS

What does your dream vacation look like? Think BIG. Like, sun that magically gives you a tan while simultaneously protecting you from its rays. Now keep your mind right there. Would you be knocking back pina coladas with your favorite beach read in the other hand? Or would you be headed to Cloud 9, a floating bar and pizzeria in the South Pacific Ocean? (♫ Hey now, hey now. This is what dreams are made of. ♫) That's right, guys: This is a place that exists, because magic is real.

It's pretty clear that Cloud 9 needs to be your next getaway. If there were a place far away from your life that would serve you drinks and Italian wood-fired pizzas in the middle of the freaking ocean, wouldn't you want to leave your life behind and fly there immediately? Great, it's decided then. You're on the next flight to Fiji.

I understand that I live in LA and have no right to complain about lack of sunshine, but you know what I don't have in front of me right now? PIZZA. Do you know what I need in front of me right now? Again, PIZZA. And, tbvh*, I wouldn't say no to floating casually in the middle of the Pacific.

(*"To be very honest." New acronym I'm trying out.)

Here are 6 things you'd be doing if you were on Cloud 9 right this very second:

1. Eating pizza, obviously

Nothing says vacation like hot, melty, bubbly cheese.

2. Drinking pina coladas

Not getting caught in the rain, hopefully making love at midnight, if you're into that.

3. Obnoxiously yelling, "I'm on a boat!"

♫ Take a good hard look cause I'M SAILING ON A BOAT. ♫

You could be that person.

And it'd be worth it.

4. Haughtily telling people you're vacationing off the coast of Fiji

Because that's the pretentious dream.

5. Getting a tan

And/or dousing yourself in sun screen.

6. Experiencing this IRL

And meticulously regramming it.

If you want to feel like your there, but don't actually feel like shelling out for a ticket to Fiji, watch this video (and weep that you aren't drinking cocktails on the Pacific):

To learn everything you'd ever want to know about Cloud 9, visit their website.

Image: Vimeo