Imagine These Amy Schumer Stories Come to Life

Just when you thought that the world couldn't be more blessed by Amy Schumer, we're rewarded by the most splendid of announcements. Our favorite queen of comedy, Amy Schumer, is going to write, and star, in a comedy film for Fox. If that isn't enough of a reason to start freaking out, the show is going to be produced by Paul Feig, the director behind Bridesmaids, and Katie Dippold, the writer behind The Heat and a whole slew of Parks and Rec episodes. But let's highlight the main point that we get MORE AMY on television, and we know that lady has plenty of stories to tell.

In fact, I think any of the vignettes she breaks out during her average stand-up set would be hilarious to watch. It's doubtful they could be stretched out into a full-length feature, of course, but you could stick an Amy anecdote somewhere into the overarching plot. Andm as someone who has seen her live twice, and memorized her Comedy Central special Mostly Sex Stuff word for word, I definitely have a short list of requests.

For your consideration, here are some classic Amy stories that could TOTALLY make the cut of her new comedy.

When Amy gets her vag waxed by a woman from the Killing Fields of Cambodia.

Her beautician watched her entire family get murdered before her eyes, but Amy waltzes in, all Uggs and iPhones.

When Amy gets Plan B from the store and feels uncharacteristically fine.

She casually strolls into the office, the pharmacists gives her the usual with a side of judgement, and, despite the promise of cramps, Amy feels FINE. She's able to lead her yoga group in downward dog, rest assured.

When Amy, who's lived in New York City her entire life, gets mistaken for a little Amish girl.

It's because of that wholesome Cabbage Patch kid face of hers. Oh, and because she happens to love wearing bonnets on the subway.

When Amy once made out with a homeless man by accident.

He was really tan, he had no shoes on, and she honestly just thought he was in a band. This is hilarious for me because all my suitors have been mistaken for, or literally been, homeless at some point in their lives. Yup... hysterical.

When Amy ends up courtside at a Lakers game next to Dianna Agron and ends up splashed all over the news looking like a comparative fresh mess.

This one is a legitimate thing that happened, by the way, although I still think Amy looks adorable her in her photos.

When Amy goes to a wedding shower in Connecticut and deals with that godawful Bridget.

Everyone's is decked out in cashmere sweaters and pearls and Burberry tampons. And, amongst these horrible women, there's stupid Bridget, rambling about how she eats ice cream after her husband falls asleep. How Amy handles the situation is maybe not network TV friendly, but god is it hilarious.

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