12 Things To Know If You Love An Ambitious Woman

by Kat George

Being an "ambitious woman" still has a lot of stigma attached to it. It has negative connotations, like mean, emotionally unavailable, or the ever-dreaded "bossy". A lot of these stereotypes about women can be true (as even the worst stereotypes are sometimes), but ambitious women are also far more dynamic than the average rom-com would have you believe. Many ambitious women, believe it or not, are able to juggle a fulfilling career and a fulfilling relationship. CRAZY, I KNOW, RIGHT? The main thing you need to know about ambitious women (in case you didn't already) is that they're human too. They're not some kind of alien breed of female sent to earth to seek and destroy. They're flesh and blood people with hopes and dreams who go to the toilet and poop and sometimes that poop is just ass water because no one is above the occasional butt-splosion.

If you happen to fall for a particularly ambitious woman, it doesn't mean you need to act differently or change who you are to woo her, but if you're needy, self-centered, cripplingly insecure or jealous, you might want to rethink dating an ambitious woman. Ambitious women generally don't have time to play games or pander to someone else's ego, so here are some things to know if you're going to embrace your love for an ambitious woman:

1. She's not trying to emasculate you

If you're a man, don't stress too hard: ambitious women aren't ambitious because they're trying to make you feel bad about yourself. I know this will be hard to hear but not everything women do is about men. They're ambitious for more personal reasons than that, so don't give yourself too much credit, and definitely don't make everything she does career-wise about you.

2. She needs to feel independent

Ambitious women like to feel like they can do things on their own, whether it's in the office or the home. It doesn't mean they never need or want help, just that they like to feel like they are capable and confident enough to do things on their own. Her independence makes her feel in control.

3. Her sense of achievement comes from personal growth

An ambitious woman gets a sense of achievement from, well, achieving. While love can be fulfilling, an ambitious woman also needs to be bettering herself to feel well-rounded and meaningful.

4. She can love you just as passionately as she loves her work

Ambitious women aren't all emotional wrecks like every rom-com would have you believe. If you're getting your example from The Devil Wears Prada or any Katherine Heigl movie, you're misguided. Think Mindy Lahiri or Leslie Knope instead.

5. She might not always have a lot of time, but it doesn't mean she doesn't want to see you

The last thing someone tied up at work, in a job they really care about, is to hear their S.O. bitch about it. Sure, if you had plans together, you can be disappointed, but don't lay on the guilt about it. Because she feels bad too! Just because she's got other ambitions, it doesn't mean she doesn't also want to see you as much as possible, and it doesn't mean she doesn't feel bad about it when she can't. She's missing your company as much as you miss hers, but that doesn't mean she's going to compromise her dreams.

6. She needs your support, even if she's too proud to ask for it

Hyper-ambitious women need love and support as much as content or lazy people, and even though she might not ask for it, she needs you to root for her, and to sometimes make her coffee in the morning when she's in too much of a rush to do it herself (which are things she'd do for you without blinking when the tables are turned).

7. Oh yeah, she's very proud

Ambitious women are often proud, sometimes to a fault. It can be hard for her to ask for help, because as above, she gets a lot of sense of self from doing things alone. Her pride works against her when it prevents her from reaching out to others for help, but is admirable where she does her work meticulously and confidently.

8. She's hyper competitive

Being ambitious and being competitive generally go hand in hand, so prepare to be very good at board games for your next game night with friends.

9. She'll expect you to match her in your own ambition

I don't think I've ever met an ambitious woman who wants to date someone who sits in their own fart cloud all day playing video games. You don't have to be exactly like her, but ambitious women who want dynamic interesting partners who share the same values and goals.

10. She's looking for a teammate, not someone who is dependent on her

An ambitious woman is looking for a relationship that's romantic, sure, but she's looking for a solid teammate, not someone who depends solely on her for validation. She wants you to compliment each other in ways that makes you BOTH better and stronger, and she's not interested in acting as someone's crutch (unless there's a tragic crutch like situation, in which she will be your absolute rock, but if you cry over spilt milk, chances are she wont be having it.)

11. You don't have to buy her dinner

An ambitious woman takes pride in being able to take care of herself, and you don't have to pay for everything for her. You don't even need to insist. She LIKES being your equal. And from time to time, as a treat, she will let you pay, just like sometimes you'll let her pay for you. Her relationship requirements center around equality in your dynamic.

12. But you should still do nice things for her

Just because a woman is ambitious is doesn't mean she's some hideous witch who wilts flowers. She's not above swooning over a home cooked meal or a surprise present of her favorite candy. Treat an ambitious woman like anyone else in the way you pamper her, because one thing about ambitious women is that they fit a lot into their waking hours, which means that on top of all the hard work she's doing for herself, she's probably always thinking of small ways to make you happy every day as well.

Images: Getty Images; Giphy (6)