Walt Disney was a childhood educator of sorts. Though you might not have noticed, when you were binge-watching The Little Mermaid as a kid, you were soaking in lessons about life, love, and femininity. Sadly, the lessons we learned from Disney movies weren't always the most positive. It was a little too much Prince talk and not enough girl power. What if we re-thought the Disney of our youth to imagine how it'd look with a feminist spin? Join me as I rewrite the iconic song "Someday My Prince Will Come" from a feminist perspective.
The Disney songs we grew up belting out (and annoying the hell out of our parents with) were a tad problematic with their focuse on all this damsel-in-distress, waiting for a prince to rescue you and make you happy nonsense. Though Disney has gotten better with the heroines of late (all hail Meredith and Elsa), the Disney classics need a bit of re-working to match our high standards of gender equality and female empowerment.
So, without further ado, I give you my very much updated and improved version of "Someday My Prince Will Come" because I am a busy woman and I don't have time to sit around and wait for a prince.
To show you exactly what we're dealing with here, let's take a glance at the original lyrics. Here is a little excerpt from "Someday My Prince Will Come":
Someday my prince will come
Someday I will find the one
Though he's far away
He'll find my love someday
Someday when my dreams come true
Oh please make my dreams come true
Yikes. Clearly in need of some updating, which is why I have subjected this outdated song to my lyrical prowess below.
"Someday My Gender Equality Will Come"
Someday my 25 cents will come
Someday I'll fix the gender inequality in my income
And how thrilling that moment will be
When fair employment opportunities come to me
I'll whisper "I earned you"
And steal a raise or two
I hope this isn't far away
I'll find my equality some day
Some day when my dreams come true
Some day perhaps I'll find a man
Who treats me as an equal and doesn't interfere with my plans
And I might not know the moment we meet
For my heart won't be skipping a beat
I'll be too busy killing it at life to yearn for a dude
But eventually I might be won over by his supportive attitude
He might be far away but that's okay
I don't need a man for my dreams come true
Somewhere waiting for me
There's a future I'm excited to see
When a girl can be sexual but not be called a whore
A society with gender equality would thrill me forever
My happiness has already come
I don't put stock in finding 'the one'
Though I can't say
I won't fall in love someday
I'll make my own dreams come true
I don't need you to make my dreams come true
Images: Walt Disney Pictures; Giphy (2)