'MI5' Will Come Out... Wait, Who Cares?

Indeed it seems that these so-called impossible missions were all actually quite the opposite — why else would Paramount insist on creating more sequels to their Tom Cruise-fronted Mission: Impossible film harem? Obviously, if it was truly an impossible mission, they'd have been but one impossible mission, not five. That right: the fifth sequel of Mission: Impossible is happening and it even has a release date... of December 2015.

Now, for anyone keeping score at home that is over two years away. Two years! Do you know how much can happen in two years? A lot of things. Maybe even everything. Including, say, a bevy of bumps from release slot to release slot (we've seen it happen before), which don't do anything more than raise concerns about quality with your potential audience.

But it's not just MI5 or Paramount that's doing it — everyone, it seems, is in on the announce-release-dates-early train. In fact just today several other film's release dates were announced (or pushed into and out of) with equally-as-befuddling dates. Like horror/comedy Kitchen Sink (from Fall 2014 to January 2015), the Olivia Munn/Eric Bana action flick Beware the Night (another one moving to January 2015), and of course, 50 Shades of Grey, which got its release date bumped from August 2014 to February 2015. Whoops.

So we've got plenty of movies to look forward to — several years from now, but relatively speaking, there's really not a lot out there for us to speculate on. So we've rummaged through the vaults* to find the soon-to-be-announced release dates for several other films and sequels coming out in the coming years.

  • Mission: Impossible 6, Christmas 2016
  • Star Trek: Into the Light, June 2020
  • Grown Ups 9, March 2020
  • After After Earth, August 2018
  • Before Earth (a prequel), November 2019
  • Monsters Assisted Living Facility, September 2033
  • Tyler Perry Presents: Madea Goes to the White House, Spring 2021
  • Go Go Juice: The Honey Boo Boo Biopic, April 2022
  • Tyler Perry Presents: Madea Needs a Dollar, Summer 2016
  • Tyler Perry Presents: Madea's Funeral, Fall 2017
  • Tyler Perry Presents: Madea Goes A-Hauntin', (European Title: Madea, Resurrected) Easter 2018
  • The Avengers 7, Summer 2029
  • The Craft Part II, Winter 2103
  • The Hangover Reunion, March 2027
  • Killing Osama, February 2050
  • The Rise and Fall of Cornelius G. Wadderflower, a Film by Wes Anderson, October, 2062
  • DC Comics Presents: Every Superhero We Have — The Movie, August 2026
  • No, THIS Is The End, December 2999

So much to look forward to in the coming years — don't you think?

* And by "rummaged through the vaults" we meant "completely made up on the fly."

Image: Paramount