'The Bachelorette' Rap Battle Was Pretty Painful

This week’s new episode of The Bachelorette was even fresher than usual. Why? Because hip-hop icon Doug E. Fresh sat in on one of the group dates. After Clint got dropped like a bad habit (by both Kaitlyn and by JJ… tough break, dude), Chris Harrison announced that The Bachelorette men would be on their way to New York City with Kaitlyn. The first get-together of their stint in the Big Apple? A rap battle with Doug E. Fresh as the celebrity cameo. I could not think of a group of men less likely to rap battle than these guys, because, as Kaitlyn so eloquently put it, “I don’t think there’s ever been a rap battle with two guys in khaki pants.” Preach it, girl.

The men got to choose whom they battled against — I personally would have chosen JJ, because he is the low-hanging fruit of the group. He is also an uncommonly bad spoken word poet, and to make things worse, he said something about “NYC hos” in his rap while he was in front of an audience of New York City women. Um, know whom you’re rapping in front of, dude. Seriously. So who rapped the best of the group? Honestly, there were no winners. We were all losers for having to watch it, except for this gorgeous clip of Ryan Gosling lookalike Shawn B. baring his well-chiseled abs.

See? It wasn’t all a loss.

The real losers of the show were all the guys on the date, because Andi Dorfman-season contestant Nick Viall crashed the rap battle. He showed up in the back of the room with Ashley “Kardashian” I. (from Chris Soules’ season of The Bachelor), and Kaitlyn was like, way too giddy about it. Her obvious crush would have been really cute minus the fact that I felt bad for the other guys who are, you know, actually still on the show.

Later, Nick and Kaitlyn talked about him joining the other contestants, and when this was brought up to the other guys... well, let’s just say no one was particularly thrilled. I was happy that it was brought up that Nick put Andi on blast for hooking up with him in the Fantasy Suite during her season. That’s something we shouldn’t forget about, because it was not cool to kiss and tell like that.

Justin got the rose on this group date, but it was the most half-hearted thing I’ve seen on the show. Everyone’s minds were understandably elsewhere, thanks to Bachelorette usurper Nick.

Images: ABC/Heidi Gutman; Giphy