Entertainment

Chris Pratt Will Be In 'Jurassic' Sequels Forever

by Tracy Dye

What do you get when you put Chris Pratt and a smorgasbord of dinosaurs who specialize in wreaking havoc and looking really cool in a movie together? If your answer to this question is "one of the best movie-going experiences of all time" and/or "dinosaurs #FTW — amiright??" then congratulations! That is the correct response. The highly anticipated Jurassic World was released in theaters June 12 and it has already poised itself as this summer's leading blockbuster hit, raking in $511.8 million dollars worldwide. So it's no surprise that buzz about a Jurassic World sequel has already begun churning throughout our news feeds, and that Pratt confirmed that he'll be in Jurassic World 2 , as well as many more sequels to come.

During a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly, the actor stated: "I am [signed on for a Jurassic World sequel]. They have me for I think 38 movies or something." Color me ecstatic! As one with an affinity for Pratt and prehistoric behemoths, I scurried to the first showing of Jurassic World I could catch at my local theater, and the film did not disappoint, so news of Pratt's involvement in the sequels is very exciting.

I have an inkling that "38 movies" is a mild exaggeration on Pratt's part, but it's nice to know that due to the movie's instant success, velociraptor whisperer, Owen Grady, will be back to take on more dinos in the future. Obviously the subsequent films will have a lot to live up to with Jurassic World being such a mammoth blockbuster. The film upped the ante from its Jurassic Park predecessors by introducing a terrifying new dinosaur known as the genetically modified Indominus rex. What will the next film have in store for us as far as plot points? Just for fun, I've brainstormed a few ideas that can help this franchise continue to take colossal chomps out of box office sales.

Ryan Gosling-A-Saurus Rex

A new exhibit for the park is introduced, entailing a gaggle of Ryan Gosling-A-Saurus Rex's. It will basically just be a group of Ryan Goslings saying, "hey girl [insert pro-feminist anecdote here]." It won't exactly terrify — or make any sense whatsoever — but trust me when I say people will love it.

A Discovery Will Be Made About The Dinosaurs' Appetites

It will be discovered that the dinosaurs have an appetite for french fries, pizza, and ice cream. This will lead to a brief reprieve from the mayhem as the dinos, Owen, and co. throw a massive pizza party and binge watch reruns of How I Met Your Mother with their prehistoric friends.

Another Genetically Modified Beast Is Created

It's going to be pretty hard to top the level of terrifying that was the Indominus rex. However, this is not an impossible feat. After not learning their lesson from the last movie, InGen scientists will cook up a new dinosaur that has all the attributes of an Indominus rex, along with some new DNA strands that allow the dino to have X-ray vision and the ability to fly. They will also give the new dinosaur a light saber to wield.

Spider-Man Will Show Up

As things are invariably going to become chaotic early on in the film, the team will bring in reinforcements that include Spider-Man.

The Entire Cast Of Friends Will Reunite To Visit The Park

Being that he is a paleontologist, you know Ross would be all about visiting a dinosaur-centric theme park. The gang will arrive as tourists, leading the film to be titled The One With All The Dinosaurs instead of Jurassic World 2. There will also be a sequence that involves a bunch of T. rex's dancing with the cast in a fountain. It shall be glorious!

It Will Be Revealed That Owen Was Raised By Dinosaurs

In a surprise twist, Claire will walk in on Owen enjoying a cappuccino with a brontosaurus (or something...). "What's going on?" she will ask, perplexed. At that point Owen will introduce the dinosaur as his mother and suddenly everyone will understand the real reason he's so good at communicating with dinos.

Dr. Ian Malcom Will Return

Do I even need to explain why this would be the best plot line ever?

Images: Universal Pictures (1); Giphy (8)