What's the only thing harder than planning your wedding? Planning someone else's wedding. Professional wedding planners shoulder a lot of responsibility. Their whole entire job is to make sure that the most magical day of a couple's life is, well, magical. And while I'm convinced wedding planners are among the most levelheaded and saintly humans in existence (I've watched enough Bridezilla marathons, y'all), staying calm, cool, and collected isn't always easy — there are certain things couples do that wedding planners hate. Like, really hate. Of course, they are happy to help you along this precious and beautiful journey you have chosen to take with the person you have designated "The One," and they'll likely never tell you to your face just how annoying you're being — but I will! I reached out to Lover.ly, an online destination for all things weddings (seriously, brides-to-be, if you haven't checked out this treasure trove of resources, you're doing it wrong), and asked them to tap their network of wedding planners to find out what bothers them the most. Short answer? There's a lot.
From clingy clients who insist on hourly check-ins to brides and grooms who can't agree on a single thing, there are certain types of people wedding planners secretly dread having to help. Want to make sure your road to marital bliss is more of a waltz than a crash and burn? See what these anonymous wedding planners had to say about the things that irk them most... and then try to be on your best behavior the next time you see the person in charge of directing your nuptials. The goal is to make this process as painless and stress-free as possible — for both of you.
1. Couples who can't stop fighting
So two people have decided they want to spend the rest of their lives together — but so far that's just about the only thing they've agreed on. This is a wedding planner's worst nightmare. “Of course you won’t agree on everything, but brides and grooms who battle over every single decision are the most exhausting (throw in personal attacks and finger pointing, and it’s all over)," one wedding planner tells Lover.ly. "Yes, it’s absolutely my job to help couples find compromises and solutions, and I’m ready to do that, but once our appointments become couples counseling sessions, we’re in all new territory… Keeping the peace will help make our meetings as productive as possible, while making the planning process way more enjoyable and memorable for the two of you.”
2. Clients who call every five seconds
“Or emailing, or texting… Trust me, I value and respect each and every one of my clients very much, and I want to be accessible to you, but there are only so many hours in the day," one planner says. Considering the amount of time and money you're investing to make sure your wedding is the best day in the history of days, it's only natural that you're going to want to play an active role making sure each and every piece falls into place. But if you find yourself reaching for your phone multiple times a day to shoot off "one last email" to your wedding planner about those flower arrangements you ordered, know that you're causing serious headaches. "I’m typically working on a handful of events at any given time, and I need to distribute my time and support across all of them. If I don’t get back to you right away, don’t panic. And if something is clearly time sensitive, know that I will do my absolute best to prioritize it. Remember that I want your wedding to be as wonderful as you want it to be!”
3. Deal mongers
Yes, weddings are expensive, and yes, you don't want to settle on something without exploring your other options first, but please, just for a second, remember that your wedding planner is doing her very best to get you everything you want while still working within your budget. Says one wedding planner: “Things like letterpress stationery, gourmet slider bars, and lush peony centerpieces are very unlikely to be cheap (and offers that look too good to be true often are). Remember that pricing is based on materials, labor, availability, and a number of other factors, and there may not be much wiggle room, if any. I will always try to help you get the most for your money, and it never hurts to ask if there are ways to get the cost of something down, but persistent haggling isn’t going to get you very far (and can feel disrespectful to your vendors). If something you love is out of your budget, let me help you find another option you’ll totally fall for!”
4. Couples who take a completely hands-off approach to wedding planning
The only thing worse than a clingy couple who just won't quit? A couple that doesn't want to have anything to do with the planning process at all. “Of course, hiring a planner because you don’t know what you want for your wedding or you’re having trouble making decisions is definitely a good idea, but remember that I’m not a mind-reader (as much as I wish I was…)," one wedding planner advises. "Clients who shrug and 'I don’t know' their way through appointments are a major challenge, and are more likely to be dissatisfied with the final product."
So what SHOULD you do? What's the happy medium? As per one wedding planner: "It’s important to bring plenty of thoughts, ideas, and enthusiasm to our appointments so we can dig around and find options that are perfectly you. Even if you don’t know what kind of wedding you want, come prepared to talk about what you love to do on the weekends, your all-time favorite restaurants, or travel destinations that inspire you. I’ll help you figure it all out, but I need a little something to work with.”
Images: 20th Century Fox; Giphy (4)
