Watching the Rob Ford debacle unfold is like watching a train wreck. The Toronto mayor is a hot mess, but not in the endearing, drunk-college-freshman way. He’s a hot mess in the mid-life crisis kind of way, and now, he’s a hot mess in the about-to-be-a-lame-duck mayor kinda way: The city council is all set to cut his budget to that of a councilmember in a vote Monday, and to hand over Ford's former budget to his deputy mayor. Ford's brother, one of the two councilmembers who hasn't asked him to resign — that would have made for a seriously awkward Thanksgiving — called the council’s actions against "the best father around" a "coup d'état."
You see, the Toronto City Council has many powers, but impeaching the mayor is not one of them. Instead, they have to find workarounds — which hasn’t been that hard, considering that this is a bipartisan issue. They’ve already stripped Ford of the ability to dismiss and appoint the deputy mayor and other appointed positions, and then they took away his right to use emergency powers. If he won't step down (which he's sworn he won't) and they can’t get rid of him (which they apparently can't,) the Toronto council is going to render Ford useless.
In case you’ve forgotten why the council is trying to make Rob Ford a MINA (mayor in name only), let’s have a refresher. We know it’s hard to keep up with all Ford's scandals. First, a video of the mayor doing crack surfaced, which he lied about, then admitted to and refused to step down. Then there was that video of Ford threatening to kill someone, after which he also refused to resign. Then, Ford briefly considered rehab, then changed his mind and used the term "eating pussy" during a live press conference — and then it emerged he'd assaulted his wife. Surprise, surprise: Rob then declared that he was definitely, certainly, not leaving office.
Of course, he’s only a crackhead/domestic abuser when he’s piss-drunk, so he told Toronto press that “I fully realize in the past, I have drank alcohol in excess,” and is now “receiving support from a team of health care professionals.” Don’t worry, guys, it’s not like this man has a city to run or anything. While we’re at it, he also definitely did not harass a female staffer while under the influence, and he didn’t drive while drunk, either. Oh, wait — he admitted to the last one a few days ago. It's hard to keep up.
It’s okay, though: even if Ford will continue to collect a city salary despite having none of the duties or responsibilities he was originally elected to execute, the Canadian embarrassment is keeping busy. On Sunday, Ford crashed a football game he was specifically disinvited from, and his team lost. And later on Monday, Ford's set to launch new television show with his brother. It’s called “Ford Nation,” and if you think it’s vaguely separatist-sounding, you’re not alone.