The Bachelor/ette viewers first got a glimpse at Kaitlyn Bristowe's personality when she told Chris Soules that he could plow her field any day. We knew right off the bat that she was open, honest, funny, and not afraid to talk about sex. Flash forward to this week’s episode, which, according to the previews, includes Bachelorette Kaitlyn having sex with one of her suitors (my money is on Nick, because they have crazy sexual chemistry), and boy, you would think it was the end of the world as we know it. Understandably, the fellow suitors are upset with her taking her relationship with someone else to a physical level (I would be bummed if the guy I liked slept with someone else), but, frankly, Kaitlyn is free to do as she pleases. She is a grown, adult woman, and she can have sex with whomever she wants. Period.
Last season on The Bachelor, Kaitlyn talked to Jimmy Kimmel about the Fantasy Suite and how she wouldn't be mad if Chris Soules slept with the other women. "You can't take out a car without test-driving it," she said matter-of-factly. Knowing how she felt about sex on the show, why are people acting surprised that Kaitlyn would have sex with someone she was interested in on her own season? In fact, why are we surprised that any rational, willing, and available adult would choose to have sex with someone that they wanted to have sex with?
Apparently in the world of TV, it’s OK to see a man’s head popped like a grape (I’m looking at you, Game of Thrones) or watch a man watch his daughter set afire and burnt to death (hi, Sons of Anarchy), but when sexuality (especially female sexuality) is brought into the picture, we have to think of the children! The woman is labeled as a whore or a slut, and she is vilified for her choices.
Though The Bachelorette is not necessarily a normal representation of courtship or love, anyone on the show should be able to have sex if they feel that it is right for him or her. Sex is a normal and wonderful part of human relationships. It can be healing. It can be fun. It can bring life. It can be completely meaningless. It’s all what you want it to be, and Kaitlyn is absolutely free to explore what she wants her sex life to be.
Kaitlyn has been open and honest about her desires (sexual or otherwise) since the beginning, and given how strong a person she is, I think that we as a collective audience should be able to trust in her decision-making skills. You want to have sex, Kaitlyn? You do you, girlfriend. No one should stop you because you’re on national television. What Kaitlyn is doing in trying to find a relationship is no worse or better than what the average single person does on a weekend night. She is living her life on her own terms, and she should be commended for that. Could there be consequences for Kaitlyn’s sexual actions in the eyes of the other suitors? Yes, but there are always consequences for anything we do in life. The best we can do is the best we can do, and if Kaitlyn felt that having sex with someone on The Bachelorette was what was best for her, more power to her.
Images: ABC/Clodagh Kilcoyn; Giphy (2)
