10 Reasons Why Books Are Better Than Relationships, Because You'll Never Run Into An "Ex-Book" At A Bar
Everyone knows that the "perfect" relationship is anything but, right? Every couple fights, and all those petty arguments can take their toll on your well-being. Even if you and your partner love each other dearly, there will be times when you just plain don't get along. And that's OK. That's part of the deal you make when you get into a relationship: a lifetime of amazing, wonderful moments ... peppered with some really crappy hours.
But fret not, my book nerd comrades! Whenever you and your partner are on the outs, you've got thousands of papery friends to fall back on. Books will always be there: ready to catch you when you fall and to help you find your path again. And while the Great American Novel might be a literary Bigfoot, it doesn't mean some books can't be pretty damn perfect — a lot more perfect than people, in most cases.
You don't need much more in life than books and companionship, but one is obviously better than the other. Loving partnership is one of the best things about life, but it can be rough, tough, and sickening at times. When you need time to yourself — whether you're in a long-term relationship or bouncing back from a breakup — there's nothing better than floating away on a good story. Here's why reading is, and will always be, better than romance.
There's No Such Thing as an "Ex-Book"
Whether you've read it 14 times or haven't touched its pages in years, every single book you've ever read will still be waiting on you when you get ready to revisit it. There are no bridges to burn, no songs turned sour in your mind. Sure, you can stop reading a book you don't like, but it will welcome you back with open arms whenever you feel like giving it another shot.
Books Never Tell You You're "Overreacting"
No one likes to be made to feel her emotions aren't valid. As human beings, we do this to one another a lot. But a book doesn't think badly of you when you chuck it across the room after your favorite character dies. It knows why you started crying on the treadmill as you were reading it. Books understand.
Books Don't Hog the Blankets at Night
I am notorious for covering one side of my bed with random stuff — books, laptop, Xbox controller, laundry I'm too lazy to put away — and sleeping on the other side, but I've never woken up at night with a draft on my butt because my book rolled over and stole all the covers. You won't ever have to play tug-of-war while only half awake to recover your blanket from your books, and I think we can all agree that's a major plus.
Books Won't Cheat on You (and Don't Mind You Reading Something Extra on the Side)
Cheating is generally not awesome, mmkay? But that doesn't stop people from doing it. I don't know anyone who has made it to adulthood without being in a relationship where someone was unfaithful. Unlike significant others, books never cheat, and they'll never care how many other books you've read — before, during, or after them.
Books Will Never Rush You
Have you ever taken your partner shopping? Even the most patient people will wear down when you keep asking them whether you should spend your money on that $100 dress or five $20 T-shirts. Eventually, they're playing Candy Crush while you waffle between purchase options. But books don't care how long you take to do something. They love speed-readers and page-a-day people just the same.
Books Make You Smarter
People do really foolish things for love, or for what they think is love: everything from unfortunate fashion choices to criminal activities. Unlike romantic partners, books don't ask you to change. They may challenge you, but they'll never expect you to do stuff outside your boundaries. Most importantly, books help you make better, more informed decisions — not bad ones.
Books Never Say, "You Have Too Many Books"
If I had a dollar for every time I've heard this phrase... THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MANY BOOKS. There just isn't. You're wrong, romantic partners everywhere. You're just wrong.
Books Won't Mind if You Need Space
Being in a healthy relationship doesn't mean spending every waking moment together, but sometimes one person in the partnership doesn't understand that as well as the other. Asking your significant other for time to yourself can be difficult, but a book won't mind if you need to take a break from reading it. Books understand that life happens, stress piles up, and sometimes you just need to chill and do nothing.
Books Don't Judge You for Anything
I firmly believe that you and your partner should be comfortable with all your warts, including morning breath, greasy hair, unfortunate gastrointestinal problems, and "Can you look at this bump for me?" But we're human, and we can sometimes feel insecure about airing our Foul Bachelor Frog tendencies in front of our lovers. You'll never feel guilty about reading when you haven't showered or combed your hair, though, because books aren't here to judge.
Books Will Never Finish Before You Do
Sexual selfishness sucks, folks, so cut it out. We've all had to deal with at least one relationship with unfair orgasm distribution, which means we can all appreciate the fact that books are about shared satisfaction. Reading a good book means building up to a mutual climax, and that's something I think we can all get behind.
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