If you're an avid television watcher, I'm sure you've come to notice that network television shows typically follow a similar schedule: They start in early fall, and then end their seasons sometime in May, leaving us devoid of our favorite fictional pals for an entire summer. Though some shows fill in the gap with extra episodes and some shows run on a summer schedule, this fall-to-spring schedule is pretty standard. The extended break is a tough one for many television fans to handle, especially as, during the break, one question remains: What do our fave fictional characters do all hiatus long?
If you’re anything like me and often find yourself missing your shows and characters real hard during the hiatus, you may have a few questions about their so-called vacations. And, no, I'm not crazy for musing about pretend peeps, because more often than not, fans are given some crazy story during the show's season premiere concerning what characters have been up to during the show's so-called "time jump." Honestly, this explanation never really satisfies my curiosities — so I refuse to let them off the hook that easy anymore. These fictional characters have some serious explaining to do and they better do it soon.
Here are eight questions that, if you're anything like me, you have all probably wanted to ask your favorite characters when pondering over what they actually do over the long hiatus:
1. Do All Your Issues Still Resolve Themselves In A Half Hour To An Hour?
If so, holler at me. I could use some therapy/coaching on quick fixes. I'm still dealing with my sister's resentment towards me for breaking her favorite heels three years ago.
2. Do You Find Yourself Strangely Losing Your Memory Every Ten Minutes Or So For About Three Minutes?
You know, 'cause usually there's, *cough*, *mumble about what happened over hiatus* *commercial break*.
3. What Temporal Format Do You Follow? Morning, Noon, And Night? Act I, Act II, Act III?
Do you at least get any kind of sleep?!
4. Do You Ever Feel Like, Well, Nobody Is Watching You?
Is that weirder than when millions of people are tuned in? What happens when you move to Hulu?!
5. If You Did Something Off-Screen, But Nobody Was Around To See It, Did It Actually Happen?
Because I'm going to be real with you, I feel all sorts of duped when you come back and I miss major life events. Show me, don't tell me.
6. If You Pick Up Directly Where Things Leave Off Each Season, Do You Just Sorta Sit There For A Few Months?
What? It's a valid question. Let's just put it this way — I hope they give you crossword puzzles or Sudoku or something to do in the meantime.
7. Do Your Weeks Suddenly Feel A Lot Less Hurried During Hiatus?
It must be positively exhausting cramming 7 days into an hour during every season.
8. Do All Tender And/Or Suspenseful Moments Properly Fade To Black?
And, is anyone there to play the accompanying heartfelt music?! Someone's gotta be around to metaphorically relay your innermost turmoil, right?
Please, RSVP ASAP. I gotta know.