What Happens If Sperm Gets In Your Eyes? 6 Things To Expect, Because You Will Be Dropping F-Bombs

On two separate occasions in my life, I have accidentally gotten semen in my eye. In both cases my partner was finishing himself off and I just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, so BAM! I got in the eye. The first time started a rumor amongst our circle of friends that “Amanda likes it in the eye,” (oh, college), and the second time my partner and I laughed it off, despite the fact that it hurts like a motherf*cker. I mean, like really hurts.

Semen is made up of a whole bunch of things you really don’t want in your eye. A fructose-rich fluid makes up 65 to 70 percent of it and citric acid, enzymes acid phosphatase, and lipids make up 25 to 30 percent. Other components of semen include, chlorine, zinc, sodium, lactic acid, uric acid, potassium, phosphorus, magnesium, nitrogen, protein, antigens, DNA, and a handful of other nutrients.

Yes, semen is made up of all of that, none of which you want in your eye, like, EVER. I mean, look at all those different types of acid and potassium? Ouch.

But pain aside, getting semen in your eye can also result in the transmission of an STI. Chlamydia, gonorrhea, HIV, and even pubic lice can be passed through the eye, so this is something to be aware of if your eye stays irritated for more than a few hours. You need to contact your doctor and you don’t need to be ashamed to tell them what happened. Sometimes men even get semen in their own eyes during masturbation, so doctors have probably seen a decent amount of cases.

Because sex can be messy business sometimes, and semen in the eye can happen to anyone and not just Amanda “likes it in the eye” Chatel, if it happens to you, here’s what you can expect.

1. You Will Immediately Scream Out Several Obscenities

Upon contact, the only thing you can really do is scream and drop about 150 F-bombs. Unless your partner and you have agreed to him coming on your face so semen in the eye can be expected, it can be an awkward moment when it’s done by mistaken. In between all your swearing, you’ll hear all his apologies, and you’re likely to blame each other: “Well, you should have moved your face!” “Well, you should have better aim!”

2. Your Eye Will Be Burn Like Hell

But not just regular hell, but hell that’s a boatload of fire from climate change. It feels like a cross between burning and someone having elbowed you in the eye, so there’s this weird dull pain entangled with stinging. Your immediate reaction will be to rub it, but don’t. You’ll just add to the problem.

3. Your Eye Will Start To Tear As It Tries To Get The Semen Out On Its Own

Although this may be a combination of actual crying along with protective tears, either way the injured eye will tear up and won’t stop, as it tries over and over to get that mess out.

4. You Will Flush The Semen Out With Lukewarm Water

While this should be the first thing you should do, in the drama of it all, it usually falls down on the list of priorities. However, if you can remember to do it immediately, you know, while you’re dropping f-bombs, that’s a good move on your part. Semen clumps pretty quickly, so you want to get it out as soon as possible. The sooner you get it out, the less likely it will be a major issue on the pain front.

5. You Will Freak Out For A Good 10 Minutes

Because there are myths about semen causing blindness, it’s only natural that you will freak out, Google side effects of getting come in your eye, and be a general hypochondriac for those 10 minutes… which is a totally normal reaction, of course. But, no, no one has every gone blind from getting semen in the eye.

However, and this is definitely something to consider, although rare, infections can be passed via semen through the eye. HIV is one such infection, if your partner is HIV+, but the most common are chlamydia, gonorrhea, and pubic lice. Apparently the spacing in the eyelashes make for a lovely home for pubic lice.

You’ll know you’ve gotten an infection when your hot mess of an eye lasts way longer than a few hours, and include discharge along with inflammation, and pain. But your ophthalmologist can get you good as new in no time, unless of course, HIV has been passed. Then you need to see your healthcare provider.

6. Your Eye Will Be A Big, Red Irritated Mess For A Couple Hours

If I recall correctly, my eye was irritated for a couple hours. The first time it was a mess until the next morning, but I know that’s because I was rubbing at it like there was no tomorrow. Inexperience, man.

But, again, and I can’t stress this enough, if the pain and irritation lasts longer than a few hours and it’s clearly not getting better, you need to see a doctor. It may seem embarrassing to tell them what happened, but, trust me, you won’t be the first (or the last) patient they'll see to have gotten semen in their eye.

Images: ramsesoriginal/Flickr; Giphy(6)

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