Entertainment

What Would 'Clueless' Be Like With iPhones?

by Mary Grace Garis

There's a hilarious promo shot of the cast of Clueless holding large boxes with antennas coming out of them..."cellular phones," they used to be called. Yes, though Clueless synced up with the slow assimilation of mobile devices, you can't deny that it tends to show it's age every time Cher and Di chat in the hallway with two unwieldy pieces if plastic to their ears. And though those rich kids were definitely more tech-savvy than their real-life peers, Clueless would be exponentially different if it was injected with modern technology.Think about it. When you switch out those clunky cells for a (differently clunky, tbh) iPhone 6, it changes the entire game. Nay, it could change entire elements of the plot, alter the very tone of the film. Disasters would be averted! Fashion decisions would be even more meticulously made and decided than ever before! Romances and relationships would live and die on a screen! It would make life delightfully different, even if it wouldn't stop Cher and co. from being totally clueless.So as Clueless closes in on it's 20th birthday this month, let's imagine all the ways the movie would be different if the characters had 21st century technology.

1. Cher Would Have Her Own Fashion Blog

Her utterly aspirational life (the tagline is "Like a Noxema commercial") would be broadcast on the regular to help out the sartorially challenge. Her OOTD are worth drooling over, and her Polyvore sets? Stellar.

2. She Would Also Have A Worrisome Online Shopping Addiction

No more walking fiddly down Rodeo Drive with six bags under each arm.

3. Nobody Would Make A Phone Call, Like, Ever

Not that they wouldn't be using their phones, but let's just say Cher and Dionne's conversations would be reduced to concise abbreviations and a smattering of colorful emojis. OH, and hard pass on the beepers.

4. Cher & Dionne Would Hunt For Tai's New Love Interest On Facebook

Not on Tinder or OkCupid with all the Barnies.

5. Instead Of Dodging Gym Class The Ladies Would Be Obsessed With #Fitspiration

Cher encourages Tai to start a Pinterest board called "Buns of Steel" while Cher herself has pin after pin of Cindy Crawford.

6. Cher Would Be An Instagram Celebrity

That picturesque shot of Tai with the rose got 32 thousand likes.

7. And Amber's Instagram Selfies Would Be Oddly Angled

With certain filters she can almost hide the fact that she's a terrible person.

8. Cher May Have Pieced Together Christian's Sexuality A Lot Earlier Once She Saw Him Browsing Grindr

And she would've (probably) not attempted to seduce him afterward.

9. Cher Would've Easily Been Able To Get An Uber Back Home From The Valley

Ok, so her phone got jacked shortly after Elton abandoned her in the middle of nowhere, but if she wanted an easy ride back from the house party she could've just dialed up some rando through the app.

10. Josh Be That Guy Who Posts Socially-Conscious Articles In Your Newsfeed

Cher wouldn't have the heart to unfriend him, but she'd role her eyes every time she came across an article about starving orphans in Uganda.

11. Cher Would Organize Her Extensive Match-Making From Her iPad

She set up a running Google doc so Dionne could be in-the-know about their running projects.

12. Cher Would Be Able To Raise Funds For The Pismo Beach Relief By Setting Up A Hugely Successful Kickstarter

It's so great to use your popularity for a good cause.

Images: Netflix/Paramount Pictures (1); Giphy (12)