5 Reasons We Need To Stop Saying How Hard It Is To Be An Adult
Life gets hard sometimes. It gets hard when we're faced with challenges that require us to expand and grow, because when we fail to rise to them, they start to rise up on us. It's pretty much that simple (though it it seems enormously complex when you're the one in it).
It's hard to be the kid who is bullied, it's hard to be the teen who has to be closeted in a small town, it's hard to go your whole life with a mental disorder nobody knows about, it's hard to be broke at any point — but the thing is that any one of these things, and the infinite multitude of others that people experience, are not meant to hinge our ability to live or enjoy life. They are only designed for us to look deeper and grow more and ultimately life better, more compassionately and lovingly and gratefully than before.
That said, something that absolutely needs to stop right now is this endless narrative of "why adulthood is hard" and why it's so impossible to Adult. Because it's not. And for whatever attempt to be cute and quirky and ~so relatable~, it does far more damage, because what you expect will be your reality. It's not hard to be an adult, but it is hard to be a person who deflects from their responsibilities by chalking it all up to things being "hard." Here, why we absolutely need to stop saying that adulthood is a big, scary, impossible thing to manage:
What You Expect Will Be Your Reality
Some people call this a self-fulfilling-prophecy, or a confirmation bias. Whatever you believe to be true you will seek out evidence to prove to yourself. If you believe that adulthood is hard, you will actively seek out all the reasons why this is so. Do not underestimate the power of your baseline belief system: it's what the rest of your experience is made out of.
The World Is Designed For Idiots
Consider this: everything that constitutes "being an adult" (paying taxes, buying property, having car insurance, paying the bills, etc.) is systemic. It's regulated. It's designed for everybody to be able to use. Unless you consider yourself so below average cognitive functioning so much so that someone else should be handling yourlife, I guarantee, there is a manual, professional, direction sheet, willing parent or representative ready to help you out.
Life Is As Hard As You Make It For Yourself
My dad always told us this gem growing up (mostly in jest, but still): "Life is hard on stupid people." And it's true. If you want to actively pursue things that are obviously destructive and unintelligent and hurtful and dumb, you will reap the consequences. You can stay in that half assed relationship, blow your money on clothes, play around with drugs, and whatever you end up sewing from that experience, you'll ultimately reap.
Things Are Not As They Are; They Are As We Are
This is my favorite quote because it is so painfully true. Things are not as they are, they are as we perceive them. They are as we make them. Life is approximately as hard as you decide it will be, as you believe it is, as you perceive it to be.
Adulthood Is Nothing But An Opportunity — And Everything That Is "Difficult" About It Is, Too
Perhaps the thing that drives me the most insane about the constant narrative of "why life is hard" is that focusing on all the ways it's difficult to navigate completely overshadows why it's incredible: it is an abyss of endless opportunity. If you want a different life, for the first time probably ever, you have sole jurisdiction to choose one, create one, and try again. Your life is finally in your own hands, and the last thing you need to be doing is believing that it's difficult to manage, as opposed to an opportunity to be seized — the good and bad alike.
Images: Fox; Giphy(5)