7 Sex-Positive Alternatives To "Walk of Shame"

by Laken Howard

We're all familiar with the popular adage “Walk of Shame." It's permeated pop culture and become a sort of rite of passage for the sexually active. According to the all-knowing Urban Dictionary, it's defined as "the walk across campus in the same clothes as yesterday after you slept with someone and spent the night in their dorm room." However, it's certainly not exclusive to college campuses — the term rings true for all who have experienced a night of passion followed by an all-too-early morning commute back to their own place.

I'll be the first to admit that in my early college days, I occasionally texted my friends saying "doing a walk of shame, lol" and thought nothing of it. At the time, when I was just becoming sexually active, it felt like the "cool" thing to say; it made me part of a club of adults who got to do something as fun as have sex. Of course, this was just at the beginning of my feminist education, and I've since realized the crazy amount of double standards women face when it comes to expressing their sexuality. If having sex is so awesome, why is it that an antiquated phrase like "Walk of Shame" is still so common?

It's about time that people stop praising men for having sex while shaming women for the exact same thing. If you're an adult, you're allowed to make your own decisions about what you do with your body. Period. If I want to have sex with 100 people, that's my right, and you don't have permission to comment on it or police my body. Misogyny is not cool, and we shouldn't perpetuate slut-shaming by using an outdated, sexist phrase like "Walk of Shame."

Here are seven fun, sex-positive alternatives to the "Walk of Shame," because no woman (or man) should have to feel embarrassed about getting laid. Next time you're journeying home after a long night of getting it on, text your friends to update them on your status without shaming yourself, using one of these phrases (or make up your own).

1. Stride Of Pride

2. Slut Strut

(Note: While it's never OK to call someone else a slut, if you want to own your sexuality and be proud of the awesome sex you've just had, feel free to take back the word "slut" and use it in jest when describing your jaunt home.)

3. Just Got Laid Parade

4. Post-Sex Stroll

5. March of Many Orgasms

6. Sultry Saunter

7. Traipse Of Triumph

If you'd like to take a trip down memory lane, watch the sex myths you believed as a child below (and subscribe to Bustle's YouTube page for more videos):

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Images: Fatimeh Nadimi /Flickr; Giphy