If you think you're obsessed with Chipotle, think again. No matter how much you adore burrito bowls, there's just no comparing with the men who ate Chipotle for over 100 days straight. If I could have gotten my ex-girlfriend to agree to that level of commitment, I would be married by now instead of eating guacamole with a spoon every Friday night and calling it dinner.
Both men say that their respective experiments began as a joke. Andrew Hawryluck, the 23-year-old man who has eaten Chipotle for 153 days and counting, writes on the website chronicling his adventures that he planned on eating Chipotle every day for the 40 days of Lent. At the end of the season, however, he chose to continue his streak for as long as he can hold out. Similarly, Mark Rantal (a.k.a. Reddit user JohnMarkParker) told ABC News that the whole thing was "totally an accident." After more than 100 days, however, he decided to keep on keepin' on, calling the experiment "delightfully habitual."
Contrary to what you'd think, eating Chipotle every day doesn't actually cause a sudden onset of Irritable Bowel Syndrome, according to the men who did their darndest to make that happen. At first, Rantal explained, you might experience some trouble in your digestive tract, but it quickly goes away. "My bowel movements are really consistent now," he wrote, proving that the illusion of anonymity on the Internet will prompt people to admit to anything.
Hawryluck hasn't commented on the consistency of his bowel movements so far. He has, on the other hand, posted a selfie online showing that his experiment has had little effect on his physique. Also, that he has a six-pack to rival post-Jurassic World Chris Pratt.
In case you're wondering, Hawryluck gets the same meal every time: a burrito bowl with chicken, white rice, guacamole, and lettuce.
Although the diet doesn't appear to have many negative health effects (yet), it most definitely takes a toll on your wallet. According to Design Taxi, Hawryluck claims he has spent more than $1500 to date, and Rantal believes the experiment has cost him around $700 in the past 100 days.
To paraphrase the great wordsmith Wiz Khalifa, Chipotle lovers need to get on their level... Or should they? Perhaps this is a sign that the world has reached peak Chipotle, and it's only downhill from here. In fact, if you think about it, there have been signs all along that Chipotle is slowly taking over the world.
1. The Carnitas Shortage
Do you remember how much people flipped out over the Great Carnitas Shortage of 2015? When carnitas came back to the menu last week, even the most die-hard Chipotle lover had to admit the celebration was a little over the top.
2. Chipotle Lovers.com
ChipotleLovers.com is exactly what it sounds like: a community for lovers of Chipotle Mexican Grill all over the world to unite. It gets kinda weird, but hey, whatever floats your guacamole-filled boat.
3. Chipotle's Date Spot Popularity
A study found that Chipotle is second only to Starbucks as a date spot in America. What a time to be alive.
4. President Obama Eats There (!!)
I always thought that POTUS dined solely on international, diplomatically relevant foods, but in 2014, he was found munching on Chipotle. He is just like the rest of us, only he can afford the extra guacamole. So can Hillary Clinton, for that matter.
Keep an eye out, kids. Now that you're looking, the signs are everywhere. Chipotle is taking over the world, one delicious burrito bowl at a time.