Put down that coffee. Stop the world from turning. Last night, as the most fashionable Brits in the world gathered at the British Fashion Awards to celebrate their own Brit-ness and fabulosity, the event took a turn that no one except rabid teenage girls could have anticipated: Harry Styles of One Direction won the British Style Award, which is determined entirely by public vote.
Is this real life? Sure, Styles is a cutie, if you're into the whole deep v-neck on a 19-year-old look, but he was competing against Kate Moss. Kate "I single-handedly popularized heroin chic and the Vivienne Westwood pirate boot" Moss. Kate "I'm on the cover of Playboy at nearly 40" Moss.
Other nominees that are probably sobbing into their champagne right now: Kate Middleton, poster girl for subdued millionaire chic; Florence Welch, who is hopefully writing a song about it; Anna Wintour, dictatoress of all things high-end fashion. Helena Bonham Carter is all "frizzy hair, don't care!" As for the rest of the male nominees, they're hot, but they basically just wear well-fitted suits. They have no reason to be bitter.
Yeah, yeah, Harry's last name is Styles, so he's clearly the Second Coming of Chung, but the dude's kind of a one-trick pony: Tight jeans, blazer, curly hair, screaming groupies attached to every limb. Style means innovation, experimentation, not finding-a-look-that-makes-girls-swoon-and-sticking-to-it, right?
Maybe we're just being bitter and old. What's so special about Cara Delevingne and Carey Mulligan anyway? Styles does androgynous cuts and statement eyebrows just as well. After all, he does look pretty slick arriving at the British Fashion Awards:
And he's definitely adorable in a collar:
But ew, here's the unwashed Burberry shirt that sold for nearly 5K:
The clear takeaway here is that in the case of the British Fashion Awards, "voting public" clearly means "every teenage girl in the entire world." Case closed.
Other notable winners: Christopher Kane snagged Womanswear Designer of the Year, Miuccia Prada won International Designer of the Year, Burberry got Burberry Designer Brand of the Year and the Menswear Designer of the Year, Edie Campbell was Model of the Year, and Nicholas Kirkwood was named Accessory Designer of the Year for the third time.
Thankfully, to keep the informed public from mutinying, Kate Moss was honored with a Special Recognition Award that paid homage to her 25-year career in fashion and her incredible and unfading style influence. I still think she should have won every award. Yes, even the imaginary ones, like the More Fashionable Than One Direction Award and the Doesn't Need to Sell Unwashed Burberry Apparel Award. Next time, Kate. Next time.