What Women Think Of To Get Them Off During Sex, Because The Female Orgasm Is More Mental Than You Think

For me, reaching an orgasm during sex entails getting getting my mindset in the perfect zone. I need to block out any outside distractions that may disrupt my arousal, and tap into my sexual fantasies. I close my eyes and think of my hottest sex memories. The memories always follow the same themes — BDSM and oral sex. When I need some encouragement, I ask my partner to talk dirty to me, or to moan with pleasure for me. I need auditory and physical stimulation as well as careful engagement my own imagination in order to be able to reach orgasm. Visual stimulation — like looking at my partner's body or penis — really doesn't do it for me. In a way, I need to take myself to a different place in order to be able to get off.

Why is it that my mind tends to wander during sex, and how common is it? Dr. Victoria Zdrok, a sex therapist, says on AskMen.com,

"Pleasure fuels a desire for more pleasure. And while there exists a common false belief that men daydream about sex every seven seconds or so during their waking hours, women also frequently fantasize, especially after they have become Indeed, women who have sexual fantasies during arousal are much more likely to experience orgasms than women who do not... In fact, research has shown that women are just as likely as men to have sexual fantasies during intercourse; and just like men, women often fantasize about having sex with other partners."

I asked 10 women what they think of during sex when they're trying to reach climax. Here are their totally honest responses:

1. *Lissa, 25:

"I think of what it would look like from a different view in the room. I know that's weird but I like to imagine I'm watching what's going on."

2. *Ally, 26:

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"If he's on top, I look at his muscles or I ask him to flex for me. That always turns me on."

3. *Jen, 22:

"I think of my ex..."

4. *Rhiannon, 20:

"I close my eyes and I think of my hottest fantasy."

5. *Laila, 20:

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"I think of my favorite sex memories.. with my boyfriend now I always think of how it feels for him to come inside me."

6. *Cara, 22:

"I always ask my boyfriend to moan for me. When he moans, I get instantly turned on. It makes me feel like I'm pleasing him so good, and I get off on that."

7. *Meredith, 24:

"With my current partner, I think of him watching me getting f*cked by someone else."

8. *Jordan, 20:

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"I think of giving blow jobs. I'm very orally fixated."

9. *Keisha, 25:

"Sometimes I play a porn video on my phone and set it in my line of distance.. I need a little visual stimulation to be able to orgasm."

10. *Nia, 28:

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"I close my eyes and think of all of the sexiest things my boyfriend has ever done in bed —I pull from my memory bank."

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Images: Katie Tegtmeyer/ Flickr; Giphy