Sex & Relationships

You May Want To Think Twice Before Dating Your Own Zodiac Sign

Looking at you, Aquarius.

by Kristine Fellizar
Francesco Costa / EyeEm/EyeEm/Getty Images

Finding a partner with the same zodiac sign as you can feel like a match made in heaven. You have the same values, similar quirks, you approach life the same way, and you just seem to get each other in a way that no one else does. The stars are perfectly aligned — until you realize that they're just as stubborn, competitive, and sensitive as you. It can make you feel like dating your own sign is just as bad as dating an incompatible one. There are pros and cons to dating every sign, regardless of which sign you are, but should you date your own zodiac sign?

"Dating your own sign can seem daunting," astrologer Clarisse Monahan tells Bustle. "It's like dating the best and worst of yourself, and that's no easy task. For example, Aquarians at their highest level tend to be intellectual, analytical, and humanitarian creatures. But on the other hand, they can be quite emotionally detached and very unwavering in their opinion (being a fixed air sign). So, two Aquarians together may drive each other quite mad."

When it comes to the pros, Monahan says dating your own sign can feel very easy. In astrology, this is called a sun conjunct sun, which is an aspect that promotes ease and harmony. This aspect suggests that both you and your partner will have similar outlooks and approaches in life.

According to Monahan, signs like Gemini, Leo, and Aries can do really well dating their own sign. Gemini is a mutable sign, so they're very flexible and dynamic. Two Geminis will never get bored with each other, which is a huge deal for the twins. Since they're a Mercury-ruled sign who values communication, they'll be able to talk through any potential bumps in the road as Gemini excels at talking things through. Two Leos will feel safe in each other's presence and will be able to share in each other's success. When two Aries get together, they won't have any issues dealing with a "clingy" partner since they both value autonomy and freedom.

On the flip side, Kristina Semos, astrologer and owner of AstroOils, tells Bustle that having similar outlooks on life can also be a downside. "Because you both tend to navigate the world in similar ways, it might be easy to assume the two of you are right, and the rest of the world is just wrong," Semos says. "If you aren’t careful, you might become intolerant of other genres and flavors of people."

Another major con of dating your same zodiac sign is the lack of balance. Both you and your partner will share the same general strengths and weaknesses of your sign. "You may struggle to make a relationship work if there's no one who can take care of certain tasks or provide certain energies," Semos says. Some incompatible zodiac couples can work because their differences complement each other. You don't really get that when you share the same zodiac sign.

For example, signs that tend to have less success dating their own sign are Virgo and Pisces. When two Virgos get together, it's going to be a very productive relationship as organizing, planning, and scheduling are things the sign excels at. However, Virgo is notorious for being on the judgmental side. "Unless there are more big picture indications in one or both Virgo’s charts, these two might end up nit-picking each other to death and missing out on the pleasure that dating or having a real partnership can bring," Semos says.

When two Pisces date each other, you'll find the opposite problem. Neptune-ruled Pisces is imaginative, psychic, and sensitive. According to Semos, two Pisces getting together can feel like soulmates living on a different plane in another dimension. However, unless one partner is willing to take one "life's pesky details," this pairing won't go far. "Someone has to work, make doctor’s appointments, and pay bills on time," Semos says. "Otherwise, you’ll have starry-eyed — but evicted — lovers."

So, what's the verdict? Is dating your same zodiac sign a good idea? The good news is, it's not the worst matchup for you. If your birth charts have other aspects that complement each other well, it can lead to a lasting relationship. It's important to remember that astrology is more than just sun signs.

"As with all relationships, each one has a unique character and flavor," Semos says. "No one type is 'bad' or 'good.' Depending on what other gifts and soft spots show up in each person’s natal charts and on what each individual is looking for right now in terms of dating or a relationship, each combination has its place. As always, it depends on your goals."

All relationships take work. Even the most compatible zodiac signs will have their share of issues. If you want to date your same zodiac sign, you can expect to have both your good and challenging days.


Clarisse Monahan, astrologer

Kristina Semos, astrologer and owner of AstroOils