Every day, Bustle’s tarot writer Carolyn Steber turns to her deck to answer readers’ questions.
Q: I don't feel confident in my bridesmaid's dress. Can I say something?
A: Dress shopping is all fun and games until your best friend comes around the corner carrying a lime green strapless gown. It’s even worse when you can see the seriousness in her eyes. She really thinks it’s cute and yes, she actually wants you to wear it to her wedding.
This puts you in a tough position. As a bridesmaid, it is your job to show up for your friend, help with the planning process, and be in all the pictures on her big day. Part of that duty also includes wearing a dress the bride likes, and it’s so often one that has a style you’d never wear, a shiny material, or an, um, interesting color palette.
Bridesmaids dresses are notoriously ugly, especially when the bride has a strict theme in mind, but many times they don’t fit well, either. Maybe the cut is weird or the fabric doesn’t fall quite right, and it has you lying awake at night.
When you know two hundred people are about to watch you walk down the aisle and that a photographer will be snapping pictures — often ones that’ll be memorialized on the bride’s mantel for the next 50 years — it makes sense that you’d want to feel confident and comfortable in your bridesmaid dress. Here’s what the cards have to say.
What If I Hate My Bridesmaid Dress?
The Queen of Wands represents confidence, courage, and a positive attitude, and I take that to mean you shouldn’t speak up. Planning a wedding is tough enough as it is, and agreeing to be a bridesmaid means helping instead of hindering.
By embracing positive energy, just like the queen, you might even start to feel better in the dress. As long as it fits and is functional — meaning you can move, sit, and dance — then this might be a moment in life where you need to roll with it.
If you still aren’t convinced, go ahead and alter to dress to fit. This is different from saying you don’t like it or asking your friend to choose something else. Go to a tailor and look for ways to make the dress work for you.
Have the neckline slightly altered, the armpits taken in, or whatever else might make for a better fit. While you can’t change the overall cut or color of the dress, you have every right to make a few tweaks.
How Can I Still Have Fun At The Wedding?
If you’re dreading the day you’ll spend in silk chiffon, remember that it’s only 24 hours. You’ll wake up, get your hair and makeup done, and help your friend get ready. As a busy bridesmaid, you probably won’t even remember that your dress has itchy flowers sticking out at odd angles.
The Page of Pentacles, a card that represents practicality and patience, reminds you to lean into your role that day. Smile in photos, listen to speeches, and get your dance on.
Before you know it you’ll be home in your robe, the bridesmaid dress will be shoved to the back of your closet, and you’ll never have to wear it again.
For more, check out your horoscope.
