Fighting with your partner isn't easy. In fact, it can throw you into a total loop and make you start questioning the relationship. Remember that arguing with your partner isn't always a bad thing in a relationship — in fact, trusting your partner enough to disagree with them and let them know when you're upset is so important.
“I tell my clients to show their partners their anger,” Courtney Watson, LMFT and sex therapist at Doorway Therapeutic Services, tells Bustle. “Arguing is healthy because you get to communication your frustrations and needs to your partner. Arguing does not have to be malicious or cruel — you can have loving and compassionate conflict. Anger is a natural emotion, and it alerts us, letting us know that something doesn't feel good for us, and that is good to let your partner know.”
That being said, arguing is only good for your relationship if it's done constructively and respectfully. And even then, it doesn't feel so great. Having hard conversations with your partner and disagreeing with them — or being so upset that you need to take some space and blow off some steam — can easily leave a knot in the pit of your stomach. You may go from feeling guilty to angry to sad to confused, or feel some combination of those all at once.
If you and your partner are arguing, here's some music therapy that can help see you through, because there's something out there for all of those emotions.
1When You Know You Messed Up
Sometimes, you know that you haven't behaved very well and that's OK. There's no need to beat yourself up about it, just own up to it. But if you're feeling especially low, this playlist is full of regret and nostalgia with just a touch of emo. It's the perfect playlist for when you just want to let it all out.
2When You're Feeling Down
If you feel like things just go wrong time after time, then let Demi, John Legend, and Shawn Mendes help you sing it out — with a little bit of John Denver thrown in, just for good measure.
3When You Know It's Temporary
A playlist all about getting through something and moving on is great for when you know you two will figure it out but you just need to stay strong.
4When You Start To See The Light
TLC and Boyz II Men will give you some sweet 90s vibes — and a little bit of an upbeat twist for when things are starting to look up.
5When You Need To Wind Down
Does this fight have you completely frazzled? This "Totally Stress Free" playlist from Spotify is there for you when you just have to cool down. Breathe in and out.
6When You've Got A One-Track Mind
Someone made a playlist just of "Sorry Not Sorry". It's on here 200 times in a row. This deserves a standing ovation, and it may be a useful playlist if that's how you're feeling.
7When You Need A Pick-Me-Up
A positivity-packed playlist for when you need some upbeat vibes and a reminder that you can get through this.
8When You're Ready For It To Be Over
Fighting with your partner can be angsty AF, so from Rihanna belting "Stay" to Shania Twain's "You're Still The One", you'll be singing along and letting out all of those EMOTIONS.
9When You've Got Your Head In The Game
This playlist, titled "I'm Here" has Florence + The Machine, Willow, and even a little musical theater if you're ready to take on the world (and the relationship) all over again.
10When You're A Survivor
So, this is called "F*ck You Right Back" and it's perfect for when you are not in the wrong and you want to let your partner know that. Feel-good girl power anthems are coming your way.
11When You're Back On The Same Team
Finally, "Lets do this" will help you get the relationship back on track, whenever you're feeling ready for that.
Fighting with your partner from time to time might be healthy, but that doesn't mean it gets any easier. Get some space, put in your headphones, and give yourself some time to cool down. When you're ready to be constructive, then you can talk it out.
