Everyone wants to be good in bed. In turn, everyone wants to go to bed with someone who’s good in bed. At least I’m pretty sure this is the case. I’ve yet to meet someone who has said, “I really wish I were bad in bed,” or “Ugh… why can’t I meet someone who’s a nightmare in the bedroom?” Maybe these people do exist and I’m just casting a huge generalization, but I find it hard to believe. There are just certain areas in which people want to excel and I firmly believe that sex is one of them.
"A great lover makes you feel as though you’re 'escaping' your worries and totally engaged with them. Engagement with eye contact, the way you touch them, and slowing down helps build excitement, making climax easy to achieve," sex therapist Mary Jo Rapini tells Bustle.
While there are many components that can make you a great lay, according to research, there are actually indicators, before you even get into bed, that prove you’re pretty effing killer in the sack. It’s not just about your bedroom skills, the way you kiss, or even the way you carry yourself. But actual things that even border on being “weird,” that prove you know your way around not just a bedroom, but the person in your bed.
So if you, like many, are wondering exactly what these bizarre indicators might be, search no further. Here are 11 weird indicators that you’re killing it in the sack.
1. You Drink A Lot Of Wine
A 2009 study by the University of Florence in Italy (of course) found that women who drink two glasses of wine a day are better in bed and more sexually satisfied than those who only drink one glass of wine a day or none at all. According to the study’s lead author, “Historically, the aspects of wine and sexuality have been well known since the time of Ancient Greece.” So as long as you’re not stinking drunk and keep to those two glasses a day, you’re going to be a tiger in bed. Also, who doesn’t love a study that gives you permission to drink more wine and more often?
2. You're Funny AF
Whether you can tell a good joke or have that amazing ability to be able to laugh at yourself (which, in my humble opinion, is a very sexy quality), research has found that people who laugh a lot are good in bed. Which makes perfect sense to me. I’ve always felt that those people who don’t take things so seriously are really good in bed, because they know how to have a good time. If a partner can make me laugh and give me an orgasm, especially at the same time, it’s like hitting the jackpot.
3. Your Favorite Ice Cream Is Coffee-Flavored
In a world of so many ice cream flavors to choose from, if you find yourself always eye-spying and ordering coffee ice cream, it definitely says something about your sexual prowess. A 2013 study by the Smell and Taste Institute in Chicago found that if your favorite ice cream is coffee, it’s a sign that you’re all about being in the moment; you don’t care about yesterday or tomorrow. All you care about is the here and now; being really present during sex makes you one hell of a lover.
4. You're Smart AF
According to 2009 research by Professor Tim Spector at King’s College in London, smart women are better in bed than, well, less smart women. The study involved 2,000 women, ages 20 to 65, and found that those with higher intelligence have “up to twice as many orgasms,” than those who aren’t as intelligent.
5. You Eat Slowly
When people eat slowly, it means that they’re tasting every single bite and enjoying it in the process. Not too surprisingly, this behavior crosses over into the bedroom. If you take your time with food, there’s a good chance you’re going to savor and appreciate things; something that transfers over into your sex life, too.
6. You Know What You Want To Eat
In keeping with the food thing, since food and sex go together in that they’re both really sensual in their own way, if you know what you want to eat and order it, that’s another interesting indicator that you’re good in bed. Being assertive coincides with confidence and knowing what you want. Again, this is something that spills over into the bedroom.
7. You’re Passionate About Politics
If the 2016 election taught us anything, it’s that being passionate about politics is a good thing. Not just that, but being passionate about politics, according to Match’s 2016 Singles in America study, means you’re in good in bed and having way better sex than those who are just sort of “meh” on the subject. The study also found that the more interested you are in politics, the more orgasms you’re likely to have.
8. You Can Dance Really Well
The idea behind good dancers being good in the sack? It all comes down to confidence. “There is a certain amount of dance to copulation," anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher said. "But I think what's really going on is that dancing indicates someone who's social and self-confident." Can't argue with that.
9. You’re Comfortable Being Naked
Whether it’s at home with your partner or in the gym surrounded by strangers, if you’re totally cool with being naked, that’s a sign you’re good in bed. Research has found that when a woman is comfortable in her skin to be naked, her sexual satisfaction increases. If your sexual satisfaction increases, then there’s a good chance that her partner is reaping the benefits, too.
10. You're Left-Handed
Apparently, just 12 percent of the world’s population is left-handed, but if you are, then you’re in luck. LELO's 2014 Global Sex Survey found that 86 percent of lefties report being “extremely satisfied” sexually. In comparison, only 15 percent of right-handed people could report such an exciting fact. And, I’d like to point out that 10,000 people were surveyed for this. If you’re a lefty and find yourself in bed with another lefty, science says you’re totally going to blow each other’s minds.
11. You Love Eye Contact
Holding someone's gaze or making eye contact while talking isn’t exactly easy. Personally, when I find I’m looking at someone too long, even though I’m not being rude, I immediately dart my eyes away because I don’t want them to feel awkward. However, if you can keep eye contact, it’s a good indicator that you’re good in bed. Basically, don’t be like me; keep those eyes locked.
Although none of these are a guarantee, there's definitely something here to consider. Is everyone who loves coffee ice cream going to be the greatest of lays? Probably not. But if you do love coffee ice cream and eat it slowly, hopefully this knowledge will give you the extra boost of confidence you need to make you even better in bed than you were before.