It's almost Father's Day, and you know what that means: It's almost time for many of us to spend an entire day letting our dads crack off as many dad jokes as they want without us rolling our eyes. And while you may be planning to get your dad(s) a card or a tie or gift certificates to a jazzercise class, let's be real, one of the greatest gifts you could give is outdoing your pops at his very own game. Thankfully, there's a wealth of dad jokes you can use for Father's Day Instagram captions to show the entire internet that you're hip with the dads.
As much as we may save our most dramatic uuuuughs for dad jokes, it's hard not to admit they're kind of a beloved mainstay of the internet. Trying to out-dad someone else's dad by telling your dad's worst jokes is as common an internet pastime as saying "I'm going to go to bed" and then scrolling Twitter and Facebook for three hours. And though we'll never tell our dads, some dad jokes really are so terrible they circle back and become incredible.
If you want to surprise your dad(s) by truly going in on the game this weekend, here are 13 dad jokes you can deploy as you Instagram your way through Father's Day.
1"Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'"
This super classic joke Facebook user Sara Spicer submitted to BuzzFeed is perfect if you're planning on nipping out to grocery store to snag some Father's Day cookout groceries.
2"A steak pun is a rare medium well done."
Speaking of cookouts, if your dad takes to the grill for steak, it's a perfect opportunity to show off your best steak puns — and finish off with this one from livin3, preferably with an Insta snap of your dad shaking his head at your sheer genius.
3"I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any."
If you bought your dad anything for Father's Day, you're in luck. Obvs it works best if you snagged him some pants, but no matter what you got, you can work this one from livin3 in.
4"What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine."
The perfect pairing for a dad who loves a good pinot, from the truly excellent niceonedad.com.
5"How do I look?” “With your eyes."
6"Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself? It was two tired."
Also from BuzzFeed, deploy this one for any biking-related Instagram post and watch your dad beam with pride.
7"Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish."
There are few foods more Instagrammable than a giant pile of steaming crabs ready to be scooped out and drizzled in lemon. Don't let the opportunity to let your dad fish for this joke (OK, OK, that was terrible, I know), from livin3, skate by.
8"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."
If your dad is more the quiet reading day type of Father's Day celebrant, good news: This joke, from another Bustler, is hand-crafted for him — and for you.
9"How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side."
Star Wars marathon, anyone? (Also from a fellow Bustler.)
10"Did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!"
This one's thanks to BuzzFeed. If you have a snazzy new haircut just in time for Father's Day, save sharing it with your followers till the day of, and let your dad look upon your dad joke glory.
11"I'm hungry." "Hello, hungry, I'm your child."
The all-time classic dad joke, retold on this day. Promise to cook your dad a quality Father's Day meal, and Instagram Story the moment you troll him with this beauty.
12"What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese."
Cheese lovers unite. Whether you're breaking down for a plate of brie with your pops or digging into some game day nachos, this dad-worthy joke from livin3 is the perfect cheesy caption for your Father's Day.
13"What did baby corn say to mama corn? Where’s popcorn?”
And last but certainly not least, livin3 has the perfect cap for a Father's Day movie night.
Take these dad jokes, go forth, and spread the dad love far and wide this Father's Day.