13 Fake Royal Wedding Hashtags For Meghan & Harry

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We’ve got pretty much all the details for Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s upcoming wedding: the where (St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle), the when (May 19, 2018), the why (because love and to fulfill our American princess fantasies but mostly love), the how much (so much...like more than $2.7 million U.S.). However, we haven’t yet heard one of the most crucial wedding details: what will the royal couple’s wedding hashtag be?

There’s a wedding hashtag test website that will recommend a wedding hashtag for you and your partner while giving a compatibility percentage. (You know, in case you want something else to panic about before your big day.) The generator puts Meghan Markle and Prince Harry at 57 percent compatible, but I’m going to chalk part of that up to user error. (You need to put in a first and last name for both parties and Prince Harry...kind of doesn’t have a last name by colloquial standards?) Their recommended hashtag was #PrinceAndThePauper which...pass.

Some experts say wedding hashtags are no longer a thing because some experts have a personal vendetta against me and my hopes and dreams, apparently. However, it is a valid point that wedding hashtags have become oversaturated to the point of being, well, pointless. There have been hundreds of Chris and Amandas that have gotten married so tagging a wedding photo #ChrisAndAmanda on Instagram probably isn’t going to do much to actually commemorate the day.

Still, who doesn’t love the opportunity for a good pun?

Here are 13 hashtag suggestions for the royal couple completely free of charge. (...but if they wanna throw a last minute invite to their wedding my way as compensation, I wouldn’t say no.)

1. #IWannaMarryHarry

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This hashtag comes complete with a callback to that reality show I Wanna Marry Harry, which was basically a textbook example of gaslighting. Over the course of the show, a dozen American women competed for a chance to woo Prince Harry...except the guy wasn’t Prince Harry at all. He was just a random 23-year-old guy with red hair and a British accent.

2. #MeghanMarriesHarry

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Simple. To The point. It rhymes a little bit. All the makings of a solid wedding hashtag.

3. #HappilyEverAfter

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Sorry, other newly wedded couples, but this is the only appropriate time to use this hashtag as Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are having a literal royal wedding. Please refrain from all future uses of this hashtag as to preserve the sanctity of this Instagram hashtag, please and thanks.

4. #PerfectlySuitedForEachOther

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Meghan Markle was on the show Suits! It’s a Suits pun! The Queen of England has heard of the show Suits!

5. #HallmarkMoment

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Meghan Markle starred in a few Hallmark Channel movies, and if the world is good and right, her wedding day will address that.

6. #PassThatDuchess

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Meghan Markle’s title will officially be Duchess of Sussex once she and Prince Harry are married. But honestly, think of Queen Elizabeth II dancing to Missy Elliot. Really envision it fully. Let the image fill your mind and soul. That’s what I want from my royal wedding.

7. #USAtoUK

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You see, friends, not only is Meghan Markle an American and Prince Harry British, Ms. Markle also starred on the series Suits, which I previously mentioned and will continue to mention until the end of time. Suits was on the cable network USA. Hence, this is a double play on words.

8. #RoyaltyInsideMyDNA

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It is the Kendrick Lamar reference we deserve.

9. #WaleWaleWales

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Get it? Like, “well well well”? And Harry’s current title is Prince of Wales? They can’t all be perfect, guys.

10. #YouHadMeAtMarkle

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This one isn’t even a pun or anything it’s just cute, okay? Sometimes things can just be cute!!! Also, my favorite kinds of puns are puns that aren’t even trying like “egg morning.” I like to imagine the royal couple also enjoys this kind of non-humor humor while lounging in fancy robes or whatever beautiful, rich royalty do.

11. #YasQueen

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The Queen of England will be there, and she will know about television drama Suits!

12. #1700BottlesOfChampagne

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This the actual number of vintage bottles of champagne the royal couple will reportedly have on their wedding day. It’s not even the TOTAL AMOUNT OF ALCOHOL THEY PLAN ON HAVING for guests. Can you even picture 1700 bottles of champagne? My bank account just gasped and passed out.

13. #ThisIsAllVeryExpensivePleaseBeCareful

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Lookin’ at you, Prince George.