Pickup lines don't have the best reputation. Often times, we associate them with sleazy dive bars, over-used sayings, and lame, corny jokes. But, there's one fictional character who spent years trying to undo that stigma — Jesse Katsopolis. The Greek heartthrob with the good hair and penchant for leather vests was so smooth he locked down host of Wake Up, San Francisco!, Rebecca Donaldson (later known as Aunt Becky). Before he married Becky, Uncle Jesse was a bit of a playboy on Full House, so it's fair to say he had some practice. That's probably how he was able to marry such a catch. But had Jesse stayed single, you know he would have continued to lay the moves on and any and all ladies who would oblige. (Which is to say, any and all the ladies he said "Have mercy!" to.)
Crafting the perfect pickup line is no easy feat, but Uncle Jesse had the formula down. Though the below quotes might not have been originally used for the purpose of getting a lady's attention, they came from Uncle Jesse's mouth, so they're still fair game. (What I'm saying is, everything Jesse said could be construed as a pickup line. Because he was Uncle Jesse.)
Below, 13 of Uncle Jesse's smoothest lines.
1. "What do you say, little mama?"
It's important to note that this should only be done in an Elvis accent.
2. "Thank ya very much."
Another one that needs to be spoken with that Elvis flair. Maybe a hip thrust, if you're feeling wild.
3. "Watch the hair!"
OK so this one might be a little rude to come in with, but as long as it's said with a wink and a smile, it's ultra smooth.
4. "Talk to me."
Honestly this is a better greeting than anything I could ever come up with. It's casual, but direct. Confident, but not arrogant. Plus, it's easy to remember.
5. "How much do you love me?"
A little bold, but you never know. Starting with a question is a surefire way to get someone's attention.
6. "Help. My lips, help."
Exhibit A: How you get Becky Donaldson to kiss you. And also, marry you.
7. "It's like the old saying: Things have a way of working out for the best. And when they work out, you just have to stand back and say... 'Hey'."
There's a long preamble before you get to the part that matters (the "Hey" part), but some ladies love that mystery. What's he saying? Who knows, but check out his leather vest!
8. "Hold it Goldilocks."
Only really works on indecisive women with blonde curly hair.
9. "Babe, let's spend it in Graceland with Elvis' relatives."
This is how you sweet talk a lady. Offer up a trip to Graceland.
10. "I had a feeling you might change your mind again, especially after the second time you paged me at the market. So I bought one of every chip they had, it's the pregnancy variety pack. "
This should probably only be said to a pregnant woman. Otherwise, it could be pretty offensive. But, just note: Entering any conversation with "I bought one of every chip they had" will win you so many points.
11. "So Becky, I was going to go get something to drink. Would you like something?"
If it worked on Becky, it can work on anyone.
12. "Because I'm worth it."
After Becky asked Jesse why he was dying his hair, this was his response. Though not intended as an opening line, this self-assured statement might get you pretty far.
13. "Have mercy!"
Ah, the tried and true classic.
Other than these, if you really want to channel your inner Uncle Jesse, come in hot with an Elvis quote. Works every time. (Just ask Becky.)