14 Products For People Who Hate Coffee

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The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is stick my entire head in a bucket of coffee. It's like a horse drinking water out of a trough, except it isn't. Sometimes, instead of taking a shower, I'll politely ask a stranger to hose me down with Starbucks. Allegedly, there's a population of people who don't drink coffee — a thought that keeps me awake at night. Regardless, if you're part of said population, these 14 products for people who hate coffee will warm your cold, black, coffee-less heart.

Fortunately for the anti-coffee crowd, there are plenty of coffee alternatives to choose from — ones that, like coffee, can help wake you up and even offer their own health benefits. Just to remind you, you could just drink coffee instead. And if you don't like coffee, you could just learn to like coffee.

Wanted to throw that out there as an option.

Whether it's the taste you don't like, the caffeine jitters, the cute little way it stains your teeth, or that adorable way it makes your breath smell like a sock after you drink it, here are 14 alternatives to coffee that are far less superior but acceptable nonetheless. You're welcome.

1Chicory Coffee

Community Coffee 100% Pure Chicory Medium Roast Premium Ground


It looks like coffee and tastes like coffee, but it's actually made from the chicory plant. It's perfect if you avoid regular coffee because of the caffeine. This stuff is naturally decaffeinated. Win.

2Kombucha Tea

Get Kombucha, Certified Organic Kombucha Tea Blend


Kombucha has less caffeine than coffee but enough to give you a nice kick without the crash after. Plus, when you drink it, you get a whole load of healthy probiotics.

3Coconut Water

Vita Coco Coconut Water


While it doesn't taste anything like coffee, it does contain electrolytes that can help replenish and recharge your body.

4Yerba Mate

Organic Yerba Mate Tea Bags


Yerba mate has been used for years as a natural stimulant to help keep you alert, focused, and productive. It comes in all kinds of flavors, so you're sure to find something you love.

5Matcha Tea

Jade Leaf - Organic Japanese Matcha Green Tea Powder


Matcha is full of antioxidants and is perfect as a natural source of energy. And! You can cook and bake with it, and this writer can confirm it's amazing. Try the matcha pancakes. They're heavenly.

6Golden Milk

TUR LATTE - USDA Certified Organic Turmeric Latte Mix


If angels drink, they're drinking this. You don't need me to tell you how good turmeric is for you. Golden milk puts the pep back in your step and can even help fight inflammation.

7Carob Powder

Terrasoul Superfoods Organic Carob Powder


People often use this to replace cocoa powder or chocolate in their recipes, but it can also be an excellent substitute for coffee. Mix some in your almond milk or whatever you prefer and enjoy the magic.

8Maca Powder

Anthony's Organic Maca Root Powder Gelatinized


This stuff is jam packed with vitamins, minerals, fatty acids, and antioxidants. It's supposed to be excellent for improving your skin and — you guessed it — giving you energy.

9Fig "Coffee"

COFFIG (Roast Ground). Coffee Alternative. Caffeine Free, Gluten Free, & Acid Free


Here's an alternative made entirely from black figs, and it's caffeine-free, although it's twice as concentrated as regular coffee.

10Maya Nut

Capomo (Maya Nut)


The maya nut is loaded with nutrients like potassium, fiber, calcium, iron, zinc, amino acids, and vitamins A, B, C, and E. Some say it's *the* coffee alternative to be drinking.


Kaffree Roma - Vegan - Original (7 oz.) - Non-GMO


It sounds like coffee, but it isn't! Instead, it's roasted malt barley with a bit of chicory. This could very well satisfy your coffee craving, but it's safe to drink, if you don't want the caffeine.

12Hot Chocolate

VIVA Caffeinated Hot Chocolate Packets


It has the same amount of caffeine as your standard cup of coffee, but it's creamy and chocolatey and delicious. Make it with milk or water and you've got the perfect treat for a chilly day.


Viter Energy Wintergreen Caffeinated Mints


Maybe you're not in the mood to drink anything. Instead, pop a caffeinated mint. Your breath will be minty fresh and you'll get a nice little boost of energy, too.

14Something To Chew On

Grinds Coffee Pouches


If you don't want to drink your coffee but don't mind eating it, these coffee chews are a great way to go.