A couple years back when I first visited Paris, I thought I'd "live it up" and try fish soup, which I assumed was a clear broth with fish and maybe tender vegetables in it. I assumed wrong. The waiter brought to the table a broth made of pulverized fish, and I'm not going to explain further. My immediate thought was, "Lawd, these people like weird food," but that was horribly narrow-minded of me — a point made clear by these 17 non-Americans on America foods that repulse them.
It's too easy to judge when you don't have much perspective, and that's what I was seriously lacking during my fishy restaurant visit: perspective. In reality, America has plenty of its own "fish soups." We just don't realize it because we're used to it. If you think about it, though, some of our classic eats are actually weird as heck — likes chicken and waffles, Peeps, and hot dogs, which are literally random bits of pig or cow (or both) pulverized and stuffed in an animal intestine-casing. FAB!
You guys, our food might be even weirder than fish soup.
If you still don't see it, allow these non-Americans to remind you how strange our eating habits are.
1. Pumpkin Pie With Real Pumpkin
This is America. If your pumpkin isn't totally not fresh, is the pie really a pie? Negative.
I call nonsense on this one. We as Americans should be 100 percent proud of the vast array of artificially-colored and equally artificially-flavored cereals available at the grocery store, each part of a well-balanced breakfast. Except not at all, even remotely.
3. Spray Cheese
Um, I'm sorry — is there something strange about this? It's no different than hairspray, except it's fake cheese and you eat it.
4. Sweet Potatoes Made With Marshmallows
Non-Americans just don't understand this. Plain sweet potatoes would be entirely too healthy, so we have to add marshmallows to the mix. Try to keep up.
5. Lucky Charms Marshmallows
Some might not be in love with the lack of freshness, understandably, but enough of us are marshmallow fans that Lucky Charms once released a limited edition marshmallows only box. Marshmallows for breakfast? Sign us (Americans) up.
6. Enormous Turkey Legs
This obviously isn't a common dish in most American households, but seriously — have you ever wondered what they gave those turkeys to make them so huge? Do we even want to know?
Grits are tricky, and on their own, it kind of feels like you're eating sand. You need to learn how to dress them up, meaning smother them in butter or cheese, or, you know, just eat something else entirely.
9. Grape Flavoring
I'm sorry, but I don't remember anyone saying artificial fruit flavoring needed to taste like the real thing. Try and tell me you don't love the flavor of grape cough syrup. JUST TRY.
Twinkies are so American, but you can't blame a non-American for finding them a bit weird. After all, a snack that can last for decades without rotting maybe should be cause for concern.
11. Hamburgers With Berries
I did a little investigation and was not able to locate said burger with berries, but I will admit this is a dangerously weird food combination.
12. Kraft Macaroni And Cheese
Kraft macaroni and cheese happens to be this writer's ultimate comfort food. I have nothing more to report here.
13. Root Beer
Be suspicious of anyone who doesn't like root beer floats.
Ugh. You win. Bologna, although delicious, makes many people — even Americans — uncomfortable. Nobody will judge you if you fry up a few slices on the stovetop, though, just so we're clear.
15. Green Bean Casserole
I need more information. Was the GBC in question made fresh or frozen? Were there fried onions on top? It just isn't right if there aren't fried onions on top.
The Spam website says one of the six "simple" ingredients in Spam is "pork with ham." So... you mean "pork with pork?" Are we missing something here? I'm concerned. Spam lovers, now's a good time to chime in.