Netflix's Christmas Prince franchise isn't exactly known for its subtlety. In fact, the selling point of the film series that kicked off in 2017 is its ludicrousness. Would Martin Scorsese consider these movies cinema? Probably not, but they still make for an entertaining holiday tradition, and the most ridiculous moments in A Christmas Prince 3 prove that the newest installment in the series may be the goofiest to date.
The plot of A Christmas Prince 3: The Royal Baby is delightfully over-the-top. Queen Amber of Aldovia is nine months pregnant, expecting her first child with King Richard (whom she met in A Christmas Prince and married in A Christmas Prince 2: The Royal Wedding, if you need a refresher). But before the baby is born, the royals must perform the centennial signing of a treaty between Aldovia and its closest ally, Penglia, a Christmas tradition that has kept the peace between their nations for 600 years. But days before the signing, the treaty goes missing, threatening to upend that peace. Even worse, if the treaty isn't found and signed before midnight on Christmas Eve, an ancient curse on the first born child of the Aldovian royal couple will go into effect.
Obviously, this outlandish storyline lends itself to all sorts of wild moments, but here are the 16 most absurd ones.
1. The Crib Instruction Manual
The joke here is at least intentional, but come on. No crib instruction manual should be thicker than the Bible. Also, Richard is a king. Shouldn't he have plenty of lackeys around he can hire to build the crib for him?
2. The Way Richard Eats A Donut
We get it. He's a king, he's out of touch. But who holds a donut like that? It's not a glass of water, Richard. His hand is going to be covered in frosting!
3. The Cinderella Slipper
The Royal Baby is perhaps the least "romantic" of the three Christmas Prince installments thus far, but it still manages its fair share of cheesy lovesick scenes. Like this one, where Richard mimics Prince Charming as he slips Amber's slipper on her foot and declares it a perfect fit. This occurs after she realizes for the first time, just two days before her baby is to be born, that she can no longer reach her feet.
4. "Clicks Tongue"
This isn't really the fault of the film, but if you watch the movie with closed captions on, there are a number of moments where the captions tell you someone clicks their tongue. No noise is heard on screen, and these mysterious tongue clicks serve no purpose, but if you were relying solely on the closed captions to understand what was happening, you'd think there was some sort of secret language being used throughout Aldovia.
5. The Curse!!
Everything about the curse is ridiculous, from the silly drawing of a sorceress in a history book to the Queen Mother's repeated reassurances that sorcery was disproved years ago. But the most ridiculous aspect of the curse is how immediately and completely Amber believes in its existence from the first moment she hears of it.
6. Amber's Exposition To Her Dad
We get it. There's a lot going on in this movie, so you'd be forgiven for getting lost. Thankfully, there's a handy scene of straight-up exposition midway through the film, in which Amber literally spells out everything that's happened in the movie thus far when her dad he asks how she's doing via FaceTime. Only the most well-written films include scenes like this!
7. Literally Everything Involving Amber's Dad
Amber's dad is from New Yawk. He likes bagels and pizza and fuhgeddaboudit, he's walkin' here! He is the most absurd caricature of a New Yorker you will ever see, and every scene he's in feels so jarringly out of place with the rest of the film.
8. Royals Mingling With The Public Sans Security
To take their mind off of the impending possible return to war between their nations, the royals of Aldovia and Penglia decide to head to the Aldovian Christmas market to mix it up with the locals. And they do so with no security whatsoever. Perhaps they have a peace treaty with civilians? Hopefully it doesn't go missing/include a punitive curse.
9. Doctor-Prescribed Painless Birth
In one of the film's many FaceTiming scenes (roughly half of this movie consists of characters talking via the screens of various Apple products), Amber's doctor tells her that by utilizing some relaxation techniques, it's possible to have a painless birth. Painless. Birth.
10. My Gift Is A Song
During Amber's baby shower, everyone gives the queen a thoughtful gift. Even Queen Ming spent her morning making her counterpart a homemade gift. Then there's King Tai, who declares, "My gift is a song," and proceeds to hop on a piano and sing the standard Christmas carol "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing." Look, Tai, we get it, you forgot to get her something, but only Elton John can give songs as gifts.
11. Baby Sneakers!
In a callback to Amber's love of Converse from the previous films, Richard gifts her a pair of baby Chuck Taylors for their child. It's super dumb, but also kind of sweet? Oh God, is this movie actually heartwarming?!
12. Not Tonight, Howling Wolves
Amber goes into labor on Christmas Eve during a snowstorm, and her doctor crashes her car on the way to the castle. So King Richard himself goes off to rescue her, even though literally anyone else probably should have made the dangerous trek instead of the king whose wife is in labor. But it's the part that comes next that's the most absurd: While riding through the woods on horseback, Richard stops at one point to turn to some howling wolves and declare, "Not tonight." Not tonight, wolves. Not. Tonight.
13. Simon's Stress Balls
While Amber is in labor and Richard is away rescuing her doctor, the king's cousin Simon — whom everyone, especially Amber, hates at this point — makes a big show of giving a pair of stress balls to Amber for her to squeeze. Everyone is blown away by this act of generosity and the clever ingenuity of these stress balls that they all immediately are cool with Simon again. If only stress-relieving toys could solve all family relations.
14. The Dungeon
Speaking of bizarre, there's a subplot involving a haunted dungeon, and at one point, Richard's little sister Emily and her mother end up locked in said dungeon. There's no real sense of danger — everyone knows they're down there — but the scene is there anyway.
15. Queen Ming's Hospital Training
Amber's labor isn't exactly painless, as she does end up with some back pain. Queen Ming treats it with a heating pad and a paint roller with a "good handle." She ends up just putting the heating pad on Amber's back and running over it with the paint roller, a trick she apparently learned while volunteering at a hospital. What kind of hospital system does Penglia have that paint rollers are considered medical equipment?
16. Simon's Proposal
The audience is led to believe for most of the film that Simon is both behind the stolen treaty and that he's cheating on Amber's friend, Melissa. He proves to be innocent on both counts, and proposes to Melissa immediately after clearing his name. She says yes, and everyone's happy, but the two obviously have some serious trust issues. Dollars to donuts says they won't make it to the altar (Richard would probably take that bet just to get another chance to put his paws directly on the frosting side of a donut).
In case you couldn't tell, A Christmas Prince 3 is just as ridiculous and cheesy as its predecessors. And frankly, its fans wouldn't have it any other way.