Thanksgiving is just around the corner, which means it's almost time for everyone to post photos of their dinner on social media, since none of us have ever seen pumpkin pie before. A picture might be worth a thousand words, but you're going to need one of these 13 funny Thanksgiving 2018 Instagram caption ideas if you really want to grab your followers' attention.
Thanksgiving is that time of year when we gather with all the relatives we normally can't stand, eat two servings of dessert (no regrets), and set a very early alarm for Black Friday shopping the next morning. Let's give thanks for all we've got, and may God have mercy on the waistband of my pants.
Nothing really exists anymore unless it's documented on social media, which means you're going to need a witty, memorable caption to go with all those pics of the green bean casserole you made, a selfie wearing your brand new Thanksgiving outfit from Fashion Nova, and the one you grabbed of your drunk Aunt Gretchen trying to wear the turkey like a hat. I rounded up a few funny quotes from some of our favorite celebs about Thanksgiving, tradition, family, and cooking — just in case you thought that you and your family were the only weird ones.
1. "I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage." — Erma Bombeck
2. "Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before." — Rita Rudner
3. "Cooking tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out." — Nicole Hollander
4. "Is it normal to make a minute-to-minute schedule for the timing of Thanksgiving? I'm asking for a friend." — Casey Wilson
5. "Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'" — Jim Gaffigan
6. "It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak." — Phyllis Diller
7. "Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-time takes 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence." — Erma Bombeck
8. "Neither Tina or I have sisters in real life ... We are each other's chosen sister. We're kind of like sisters and our parents are show business. We call each other to complain about how mom and dad have treated us at Thanksgiving." — Amy Poehler
9. "At parties, I'll start talking and notice everyone is looking at me and feel dumb and say, 'Forget it,' and then start eating things." — Kristin Wiig
10. "Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants." — Kevin James
11. "My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow." — Rita Rudner
12. "I love my family but my family — they're the type of people that never let you forget anything you ever did... I was in the first grade Christmas play — I'm playing Mary. Now, during the course of the play, I dropped the baby Jesus... They still talk about this. I go to my family reunion, and one of my cousins just had a baby. So I'm like, 'Oh, that's a cute little baby. Let me hold the baby...' And my aunt runs over, 'Don't you give her that baby! You know she dropped the baby Jesus!'" — Wanda Sykes
13. "I want to thank my parents for raising me to have confidence that is somehow disproportionate with my looks and abilities. Well done. That is what all parents should do." — Tina Fey
14. "My mom has a little nickname for [when I came out]. She calls it 'the Thanksgiving that Stephanie ruined.' All time is told in our family tree by this one day. I'll go, 'Hey Mom, what year did Grandpa have his heart surgery?' 'Well, let's see. The Thanksgiving that you ruined was in '92, so that means he had his surgery in '67.'" — Stephanie Howard
15. "A lot of people say it's cathartic to cook, and I'm like, 'How is it cathartic washing all these dishes?'" — Sherri Shepherd
16. "Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first." — Ernestine Ulmer
17. "I enjoy cooking, but I have a meat thermometer so I make sure no one gets food poisoning." — Isla Fisher