17 People Reveal Why They Faked Orgasms, Because There Actually Are Valid Reasons

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle
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Women get a bad reputation for faking orgasms. But the truth is, it's not just women who do it, and a lot of the reasons why people fake orgasms are actually very understandable. Rather than being an attempt at manipulation, the motives can range from wanting to leave a bad situation to getting turned on by it.

But regardless of how we feel about faking it, a lot of us have done it. An IllicitEncounters.com survey found that 68 percent of women and 28 percent of men had. Another study in Sexual and Relationship Therapy found that men who fake orgasms do so around a quarter of the time.

Some of the reasons people fake orgasms reflect disturbing societal problems. A study presented at last year's British Psychological Society's Psychology of Women conference found that many women were faking it to end what they described as bad sex — but a lot of their accounts could also be described as sexual assault. Clearly, if somebody's in that position, they faked it because they felt that had no choice — which is what I mean when I say we shouldn't judge people for this.  

To find out more about all the different reasons people fake orgasms, I asked 17 people why they did. Here are their explanations.  

1Sheena, 32

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2Robert, 55

3Cynthia, 73

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4Reba, 29

5Gemma, 27

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6Kate, 24

7Gabby, 24

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8Wendy, 33

9Jenny, 41

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10Dana, 37

11Meg, 30

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12Lisa, 38

13Kathy, 28

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14Kelli, 33

15Cara, 43

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16Jane, 29

17Kitty, 33

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I was impressed by the sheer amount of variety in these answers, and after reading them, I have trouble judging anyone for faking an orgasm. Gemma's right that it can reinforce ineffective techniques, but perhaps it's not on individual women to train their partners to be good lovers. Maybe it's on all of us to create a culture where people don't feel the need to fake it in the first place.