20 'Schitt's Creek' Moments That Prove David Is Terrible At Basic Life Skills
There are plenty of things that David Rose on Schitt's Creek is great at: running Rose Apothecary, taking care of his knits, making sarcastic comments, grooming his impressive eyebrows. But as was clear from the get-go, there are some skills that this fish-out-of-water still hasn't mastered. Growing up privileged meant David didn't learn many basic life skills, like what a write-off is or how to fold the cheese into his family's recipe for "ahn-chiladas." But all of his foibles and eccentricities just make him all the more lovable.
Before arriving in Schitt's Creek, David had a middling career as an art gallerist, which was later revealed to be a sham. And while it was a devastating blow to learn that his mom was secretly behind most of his transactions, David remained confident in his business acumen (his father ran a successful video store empire, after all) and ended up launching a still-thriving boutique. Sure, David may not be the best with finances, but he and Patrick have turned a sad general store into a booming business that teens love to shoplift from. Still, there is a long list of pretty basic things that David hasn't quite gotten a handle on yet.
1. Getting Out Of Bed
While David is typically good at waking up, there are a few times throughout the series where he just...can't.
2. Giving Life Advice
After Jocelyn asks David to talk to a young, gay student at her school, he responds, "The idea of me life-coaching another human being should scare you — a lot." We stan a self-aware king!
Unfortunately for David, Moira is just as helpless as he is when it comes to their family's enchilada recipe. But though it takes them an excruciatingly long time to figure out how to fold in the cheese, it turns out surprisingly edible.
4. Building Furniture
After discovering that his cashmere is being destroyed by moths, David sets out to build himself a cedar chest. But when Mutt sees what he's attempting, he feels obligated to step in before David hurts himself.
5. Taking A Hint
David's personality is enough to test the Amish family the Roses find him living with after setting out for New York and going MIA. As Mr. and Mrs. Rose are told when they come to pick up their son, David's staying there taught the Amish family some valuable lessons in patience, forgiveness, and restraint.
6. Closing Doors
You know that saying about how when one door closes, another opens? It's not referring to David, whose door-closing skills are so bad it's confounding.
His form is actually pretty good as far as squats go, but the uncertainty on David's face is what really cements it as a deeply uncomfortable moment.
9. Anything Money-Related
Although David initially has trouble grasping what a write-off is (RIP, the Blouse Barn), his impeccable taste comes in handy for the Rose Apothecary. Thankfully, Patrick is there to keep his spending habits in check.
10. Leaving Voicemails
Flustered by his attraction to Patrick, David leaves an ill-advised message, which he ends with a casual, "Ciao!"
While one could argue that Alexis is a bit too casual when it comes to driving (she has her F Class, after all!), David tends to overthink things. It took him several tries to get his license, so when it expires, he dreads going in and taking the test again.
12. Acting Casual
Speaking of which, since David tends to overthink everything, staying calm is not his forte, either.
Physical touch is not exactly David's thing, but he makes an exception for Ted. Perhaps this is foreshadowing for their Season 5 kiss?
14. Riding A Bike
"David, the pedals make it move more!"
15. Talking To Teens
High schoolers are terrifying, and David's desire for the cool kids to accept him is understandable. But when Patrick and Alexis find out that the teenagers are stealing from Rose Apothecary, David is forced to put his stylish foot down.
Moira and her son may look incredible in their matching outfits, but it's clear that David is less comfortable than his mom, who quite literally lives for the spotlight.
David didn't inherit Moira's musical abilities, either.
Poor, sweet David faces his fears when he and Patrick go on a double date with Alexis and Ted in order to prove that they have an electric relationship.
19. Playing Baseball
Although David is deeply offended when Patrick asks him to play in the Cafe Tropical league, he proves to be a vital asset to the team. Which leads us to the final point...
But He Still Awkwardly Runs His Way to Victory
While he may not be rookie of the year, David's slide into home base reveals how far he's come since Season 1.
David may have several weaknesses, but who among us hasn't left a cringey voicemail, been forced to play team sports, or had trouble following a simple recipe? So here's to David, a relatable prince among men. Long may he awkwardly reign!