Books
Before the jewelry and roses, before the candy hearts and stuffed teddy bears, before the overwhelming expectation of unique gift giving hijacked the holiday, Valentine's Day was best known for something else: its endless supply of cheesy, romantic, sexy, and, above all, corny cards. This year, it is time to once again honor the traditions you started in elementary school by picking out funny (and often punny) Valentine's Day cards for all the book nerds in you life.
There is a lot of pressure around choosing the *perfect* gift for your Valentine. When you were younger, though, the holiday was much simpler, and much more fun. Instead of spending hours trying to find a present that accurately represents your unique relationship and where it stands, all you had to do was trade funny Valentine's Day cards to other kids in you class. There was no budgeting for an expensive dinner and a big box of chocolates, no agonizing over whether or not jewelry is too serious of a gift, and no stressing about whether or not it was "too soon" to spend the day together. Valentine's Day as a kid was easy: get cards, attach candy, trade, repeat. If you ask me, it's time to get back to the basics and celebrate Valentine's the good old fashioned way: with silly and witty cards.
Whether you are shopping for your bibliophilistic significant other or picking our Valentine's for the whole book club, here are 21 cards for book nerds that will make them swoon.
This Ode to Emily Dickinson
Who needs Emily's love poems when you have her sultry punctuation to work with?
This Newspeak Declaration of Love
We're living in a dystopia in 2018, so you might as well own it this Valentine's Day.
This Author Inspired Pun
If anyone knows how to throw a *Wilde* Valentine's Day, it's probably the author of The Picture of Dorian Gray.
This Overdue Library Joke
Do library puns ever old? Yeah, I didn't think so either.
This Quidditch Come On
Let the members of your Golden Trio know where they belong: with you.
This Very Realistic Valentine
It may not be the most romantic card in the world, but is possibly the most truthful.
This Shy Confession
A quote from one of Jane Austen's most underrated heroes: Mr. Knightley.
This Dementor Flirtation
For Potterheads who know how to stop your heart.
This Library Pun
Library lovers, rejoice! There is a hilarious and punny Valentines Day card designed specifically for you.
This Tear-Jerker
Try and exchange this card without crying, I dare you.
This Literary Pick Up Line
Even serious pieces of literature can be reduced to sexy puns if you're willing to put the work in.
This Visual Love Story
In some cases, pictures — especially adorable ones like this card — speak louder than words.
This Sexy Insinuation
Get it? But do you get it? You got it.
You're Stacked Card, $3+, Etsy
This A-Dumbledore-able Card
Have you ever seen anything so a-Dumbledore-able in you Harry Potter-loving life?
This Nerdy Compliment
The perfect card for someone you want to spend quality time in the stacks with.
This Little Haikutie
This Very Accurate Statement
If only dating books was considered socially acceptable.
Bookworm Valentine, $4, Etsy
This Superior Praise
Has a book-lover ever bestowed a nicer compliment?
Bookish Card, $4, Etsy
This IRL ILU
Even on Valentine's Day, book-lovers keep it real.
This Happy Ending
Every love story deserves a happily ever after.
