26 Tyrion Lannister Quotes From 'Game Of Thrones' That Prove He's The King Of Wordplay
As the imp child of Tywin Lannister, Tyrion Lannister had to distinguish himself by being smarter than everyone — or at least talk like he's smarter than everyone. The best Tyrion quotes on Game of Thrones prove just how successful he was at making a name for himself via his words. Many characters in the HBO series based on George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire books know a thing or two about witty banter. But these 26 lines from Tyrion show that's he's the most quotable character of Game of Thrones for a very good reason.
Not many people have been both Hand of the King and Hand of the Queen, but Tyrion's family name and diplomatic skills have given him that distinction. So while he is the king of snark, he also uses his words to logic with unreasonable people and create a better world. As he himself said to Shae back in Season 2, "These bad people are what I'm good at. Outtalking them. Outthinking them. It's what I am. And I like it. I like it more than anything I've ever done." And his skill with words hasn't gone unnoticed by his fellow characters. "He enjoys talking," Jon told Daenerys in Season 7. To which she replied, "We all enjoy what we're good at."
To refresh your memory just how good he is at talking ahead of the Season 8 premiere on April 14, here are 26 times that Tyrion won the game of words on Game of Thrones because no one can hurl an insult or drop some wisdom with panache like Emmy-winning Peter Dinklage.
1. "Never Forget What You Are. The Rest Of The World Will Not. Wear It Like Armor And It Can Never Be Used To Hurt You."
Although Jon Snow is initially insulted by Tyrion, these words of wisdom are just the beginning of their mutual respect.
When: "Winter Is Coming" — Season 1, Episode 1
2. "Death Is So Final, Whereas Life ... Ah, Life Is Full Of Possibilities."
Jaime and Cersei think Bran would be better off dead than surviving his fall (after all, that would be much more convenient for them). But Tyrion again gives some inspiring wisdom.
When: "The Kingsroad" — Season 1, Episode 2
3. "I Have A Tender Spot In My Heart For Cripples, Bastards, And Broken Things."
His brother Jaime is responsible for crippling Bran, but Tyrion shows early on that he's a Lannister worth rooting for. Although Robb is suspicious of his intentions, Tyrion provides the future Three-Eyed Raven with blueprints for a saddle that will allow the newly-handicapped Bran to ride a horse.
When: Season 1, Episode 4, "Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things"
4. "Surely There Are Ways To Have Me Killed That Would Be Less Detrimental To The War Effort."
Tywin orders his son to lead the hill tribes into battle against Stark forces and Tyrion suspects his dad wants him to die in battle. Yet, viewers know who eventually offs whom in this tense father-son combo.
When: "Baelor" — Season 1, Episode 9
5. "You Love Your Children. It's Your One Redeeming Quality. That & Your Cheekbones."
Cersei isn't pleased to discover that Tywin has appointed Tyrion to be Joffrey's Hand of the King. But hey, he does deliver a helluva compliment to her during his arrival.
When: "The North Remembers" — Season 2, Episode 1
6. "*That* Was A Threat. See The Difference?"
Many characters can be regarded as "the worst" on Game of Thrones, but Meryn Trant is definitely a top contender. Arya eventually takes him down in the end, but Tyrion cuts him with words (and saves Sansa) after the Kingsguard knight accuses him of threatening Joffrey.
When: "Garden of Bones" — Season 2, Episode 4
7. "Alright, Enough. Even Torturing You Is Boring."
Before he served the High Sparrow, Lancel Lannister was just another family member for Tyrion to antagonize as he does in this scene in an effort to gain intel on Cersei.
When: "The Ghost of Harrenhal" — Season 2, Episode 5
8. "I Will Hurt You For This. A Day Will Come When You Think You're Safe & Happy & Your Joy Will Turn To Ashes In Your Mouth. & You Will Know The Debt Is Paid."
Even though Cersei captures the wrong prostitute, Tyrion is super pissed that his sister is blackmailing him. And with words like these, no wonder Cersei assumed Tyrion had killed Joffrey. Cersei attempts to blackmail Tyrion by kidnapping his mistress Shae and threatening to torture her. She accidentally had captured Ros, but that doesn't stop Tyrion from saying,
When: "The Prince of Winterfell" — Season 2, Episode 8
9. "Just Because I Pay You For Your Services Doesn't Diminish Our Friendship."
Tyrion doesn't want his buddy and sellsword Bronn to die during the Battle of Blackwater. As Bronn replies, the money only "enhances" their friendship.
When: "Blackwater" — Season 2, Episode 9
10. "Still Makes Me More Clever Than You."
Cersei should know better than to insult Tyrion's intelligence as he makes clear with his retort to her saying, "You're a clever man, but you're not half as clever as you think you are."
When: "Valar Dohaeris" — Season 3, Episode 1
11. "I Try To Know As Many People As I Can. You Never Know Which One You'll Need."
Sure, Tyrion is just trying to get out of a fight with a jealous Shae in this moment about his exact relationship with Ros, but this quote also proves how he's the master of spin.
When: "Dark Wings, Dark Words" — Season 3, Episode 2
12. "If My Father Wants Someone To Get F*cked I Know Where He Can Start."
Tyrion gets incredibly drunk during his wedding to Sansa. And when she starts to undress to fulfill her "wifely duty" on their wedding night, Tyrion reveals he will not have sex with her until she wants — no matter what his father says.
When: "Second Sons" — Season 3, Episode 8
13. "It's Not Easy Being Drunk All The Time. Everyone Would Do It If It Were Easy."
Like his wedding night, Tyrion has a pretty good reason for aggressively drinking wine this time. He just learned his father orchestrated his wife's family's deaths at the "Red Wedding." And he wants Podrick to keep him company in his misery.
When: "Mhysa" — Season 3, Episode 10
14. "There Has Never Lived A More Loyal Squire."
Speaking of Pod, Tyrion's squire has got to get the hell out of dodge after Tyrion is arrested for the murder of King Joffrey. And Tyrion's parting words are a rare moment of tenderness for Game of Thrones.
When: "Breaker of Chains" — Season 4, Episode 3
15. "I Wish I Was The Monster You Think I Am."
After Shae betrays him during his trial for Joffrey's murder, Tyrion gives an epic speech which ends with him demanding a trial by combat.
When: "The Laws of Gods and Men" — Season 4, Episode 6
16. "If You Want Justice, You've Come To The Wrong Place."
Things aren't looking good for Tyrion when he can't find anyone willing to be his champion in his trial by combat. But Oberyn Martell offers his services so he can avenge the death of his sister and her children. Unfortunately, Tyrion's words about justice turn out all too true for Oberyn.
When: "Mockingbird" — Season 4, Episode 7
17. "I'm Not Well-Suited For Work."
Varys wants Tyrion to earn power for himself through his work rather than his dead father's name, but Tyrion has no interest after escaping his death sentence at King's Landing. And his words perfectly articulate the feelings of anyone who imbibed too much while watching Game of Thrones on Sunday night and doesn't want to go to work on Monday morning.
When: "The Wars to Come" — Season 5, Episode 1
18. "When I Agreed To Come With You Did I Misrepresent My Intentions?"
Tyrion only agrees to go with Varys to Meereen if he can drink himself to death on the way there. So when Varys teases him that a bug in his wine will mean he'll have some solid food, the depressed Tyrion keeps it real.
When: "The House of Black and White" — Season 5, Episode 2
19. "It's Easy To Confuse 'What Is' With 'What Ought To Be,' Especially When 'What Is' Has Worked Out In Your Favor."
Tyrion has also lived a life of privilege like Daenerys' intended Hizdahr zo Loraq, but he argues the world shouldn't be satisfied with the status quo — especially when the status quo is fighting pits.
When: "The Dance of Dragons" — Season 5, Episode 9
20. "That's What I Do. I Drink, And I Know Things."
Tyrion gives Missandei and Greyworm the CliffsNotes version of who he is once he takes over ruling Meereen in Daenerys' absence.
When: "Home" — Season 6, Episode 2
22. "Next Time I Have An Idea Like That, Punch Me In The Face."
Tyrion freeing Daenerys' dragons made fans suspect that this Lannister could be a Targaryen, but this directive to Varys shows how he is more concerned about surviving than any secret family trees.
When: "Home" — Season 6, Episode 2
21. "We Make Peace With Our Enemies, Not Our Friends."
When Missandei quotes your wisdom, you know it's legit. And while she may not agree with Tyrion's tactics to allow slavery to maintain the peace, she shows she trusts his judgment.
When: "Book of the Stranger" — Season 6, Episode 4
23. "You're In The Great Game Now — And The Great Game Is Terrifying."
Right before Daenerys names Tyrion her Hand of the Queen, he's glad to know that she's trepidatious to conquer Westeros. Also, considering that we've all been watching Game of Thrones for seasons now, audiences already know the game is terrifying, Tyrion.
When: "The Winds of Winter" — Season 6, Episode 10
24. "You Look A Lot Better Brooding Than I Do."
Everyone knows that Jon Snow is the handsomest brooder around. But Tyrion is brave enough to acknowledge this when Jon Snow takes his brooding spot at Dragonstone after Euron Greyjoy attacks Yara and Theon's ships. "You make me feel like I'm failing at brooding over failing," he adds.
When: "The Queen's Justice" — Season 7, Episode 3
25. "A Wise Man Once Said That You Should Never Believe A Thing Simply Because You Want To Believe It."
Tyrion admits to Daenerys that he wants to believe Jon Snow is wrong about the White Walkers, but he knows better than that. When Daenerys calls him out for using "a wise man once said" to present his "own statements as ancient wisdom," he admits, "I'd never do that ... to you."
When: "The Queen's Justice" — Season 7, Episode 3
26. "Sometimes Nothing Is The Hardest Thing To Do. If You Die, We're All Lost."
Daenerys decides that she must be the one to save the day when Jon's crew is attacked by White Walkers beyond the Wall. Tyrion is wrong when he pleads with Daenerys not to go, but he's certainly right about her importance to the world.
When: "Beyond the Wall" — Season 7, Episode 6
Tyrion might not have a lot of time for talk with winter here in Season 8. But that surely won't stop him from fitting in his signature banter before Game of Thrones is over for good.