Nobody messes with Stassi's birthday — except for Jax Taylor. In Season 1, her ex showed up uninvited and picked a fight with her new boyfriend Frank, all culminating in a pretty ridiculous (and shirtless) situation outside of the club. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention that this was also the first night we saw Tom Schwartz dump a drink on someone.

Laura Leigh was a fleeting but explosive presence at SUR. A particularly iconic moment was when she decided to take on Stassi during a SUR staff meeting — a move few people would have the courage to pull.

Stassi had long suspected Jax cheater on her while he was in Vegas, but hearing it straight from the horse's mouth was more intense than anyone could have prepared for. He apologized, but only after spending months lying to everyone. Classic Jax.

In this episode, Katie took major issue with something that didn't really affect her, which has been... a bit of a pattern. She was upset that Scheana had a boyfriend but was "grinding on Peter" at Peter's birthday party, and she made sure to voice her displeasure as Kristen took her side in what escalated into a major fight.

Tom Schwartz has nearly perfected the persona of the affable, kind of clueless, but mostly innocent boyfriend/fiancé/husband. But he's poured drinks on women on more than one occasion, and that's hard to forget. Katie may have been being a little unreasonable, but you don't ever dump a cocktail on your girlfriend, dude.

While I can't condone physical violence, Kristen definitely received the message that lying to her best friend about sleeping with her boyfriend won't end well, especially when that best friend is Stassi Schroeder.

Tom Sandoval usually just wants the drama to stop, so when he's the one throwing punches, you know he's truly been wronged. His best friend slept with his very long-term girlfriend and kept it a secret from him until way after the fact, and that was simply too much for Sandoval to overlook.

Scheana was decidedly not happy about serving Stassi when she arrived at SUR as a customer, but she had no choice — Lisa was right there. This prompted a savage line from Stassi that's been reprinted on t-shirts, pillows and wine glasses, and will probably one day exist on a full-fledged monument.

Kristen Doute isn't exactly a pro at letting things go, so when she got a whiff of a rumor that Sandoval cheated on Ariana in Miami, she was quick to cause trouble for her ex and his new flame. She brought Miami Girl to SUR to blindside Tom while he was working, and he was not pleased. (For the record, Tom has always denied the allegations).

It is truly unbelievable that Kristen kept her job at SUR for as long as she did — which, granted, could be said for half the restaurant's staff — but this was what sealed her fate for good. Kristen got ugly with Diana, a SUR manager, and paying customers could hear every word. She'd shown up to pick a bone with Scheana, and did not take kindly to Diana trying to break up the mayhem. See the full clip on Bravo's site.

Kristen and James' relationship was a seemingly endless saga of fighting, manipulation, and — as this moment shows — at least one instance of violence. Though Bravo's official video sets the scene of one of their more explosive interactions before cutting the incident short, here's a grainy YouTube clip showing Kristen hitting James in the face at Scheana and Shay's wedding reception.

As soon as Lala stepped foot into SUR, she was drawing side-eyes from Katie and Scheana. They were convinced that she was sleeping with successful people for fancy vacations, and apparently, this affected their daily lives so much that they launched a campaign against her before she spoke two words to them. This lasted many episodes, and got particularly fiery between Lala and Katie, but it eventually ended with an apology on the latter two's part.

After Ariana's very cool children's-themed birthday party, Sandoval announced his plans to go to Vegas for a guys' trip the very next morning. Ariana isn't wasn't very happy about it — she wanted him to stick around around the next morning, and later said that they had their own birthday plans the next day that he was dipping out on. Watching Tom sheepishly explain that he couldn't miss it because they were planning on playing in a giant sandbox with bulldozers is just... *chef's kiss.*

Lala has a habit of taking her top off. It's something the rest of the cast seems pretty OK with nowadays — many of them even joined her this season! — but it didn't always go over so well. In Season 4, Katie was extremely offended that Lala would take off her top while swimming when the rest of the women's boyfriends were around, and it put them on very precarious ground.

On the same trip, Lala told Brittany that Jax had been hitting on her while he and Brittany were together. Despite having video evidence that it happened (will he ever remember he's on a reality show?), Jax denied the whole thing. It ended with Lala blowing up at Jax out of frustration because she couldn't believe he was able to lie so easily. If only she'd watched the first three seasons.

Lisa Vanderpump usually reserves her true feuds for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but when she found out that Stassi had been bad-mouthing her and her employees all around town since her departure from SUR, she definitely had a few choice words for her.

James and Lala are known for their short fuses and low-blow insults, and when they team up, it's an even more troublesome situation. Here, they approached Stassi, the Toms, Jax, Katie, and the rest of the crew at a party, Lala proclaimed it was clear no one at their table had been "working on their summer bodies," and history was made.

Drunk, dressed in drag, and pissed at Katie, Sandoval kicked open the bathroom door to reveal Schwartz, still in a wig cap and sitting on the toilet. He tearfully yelled "he's like a battered wife!" as Schwartz smirked in the background. You really cannot script this stuff.

Brittany, bless her heart, has always seen the best in Jax, so she's made a habit of ignoring his sketchy past and the various warnings she's received from those who know him best. But in this devastating moment, he finally came clean about sleeping with their mutual friend Faith. Simply typing her response here doesn't do it justice, but nonetheless: "rot in hell."

Jax just digs himself a deeper hole when he says it apparently doesn't matter if he cheated more than once — and then screams at Brittany to shut up. Always classy!

No words could describe this better than the clip.

Only Jax Taylor would see a stack of pillows wedged near the hot tub and assume Kristen and James must have put them there to have sex.

During the same trip to Mexico, Kristen threw a drink on James for allegedly telling the guys that they slept together. He didn't say it, for the record — everyone on the show somehow just thinks that "hang out" and "hook up" mean the same thing. This world needs to clarify its dating slang!

Jax has caused plenty of scenes in his day, but this one was by far the biggest. Right in front of Lisa and Ken — the people he's constantly trying to get back in the good graces of — he started flipping the bird and screaming at everyone in his sight. Lisa kicked him out, and things just escalated further as he made his way down the sidewalk.

Or, as we have heard so many times... "James got himself fired!" Truly, he is the one to blame for this whole debacle. It's obvious that James is going through a lot with his family, but that certainly doesn't give him the right to speak the way he does to women and repeatedly body-shame Katie. Katie gave Lisa an ultimatum, and it ended with James tearfully getting the boot from SUR (again).

Billie was hurt when the other women didn't include her in their "Girls' Night" event at SUR, and this was one fight where no one was really totally in the wrong. Katie and the others insisted that it was an oversight, but as a transgender woman who's spent her entire life being excluded for not being "woman enough," it's totally understandable that Billie took it personally. This was an all-around unfortunate turn of events.

Lala has been lashing out at the rest of the cast since losing her father, and when she overheard Raquel say she was "playing the dad card," it... did not go over well.

This is not an exhaustive list, and I'm sorry! But if I were to document every single Pump Rules fight, Jax Taylor's grandchildren would be old enough to guzzle Pumptinis by the time I was finished. This is just a Vanderpump Rules starter kit, if you will — an introduction for those who want to dive into Season 7 headfirst, and a refresher for hardened veterans who still wake up in a cold sweat from nightmares about all that has gone down since the show's 2013 debut.

And now that we're all caught up, we can kick back and ready the popcorn for all the chaos inevitably left to come.