29 Gifts For People Who Love Sloths

Etsy

Ever since Etsy predicted that sloths would replace unicorns as the "it" animal in 2019, we all started feeling a little bit better about this unhealthy obsession we have with this furry creature, and all its creepily long toenails and seemingly permanent smile. With the rise of the sloth also comes a plethora of related swag, collectibles, and merchandise — like these 29 things for people who are obsessed with sloths. Because honestly, if you don't have a sloth garden statue in your front yard, what are you even doing with your life?

When you think about it, we probably relate so well to sloths because they're a lot like us. Here are just a few fun facts, courtesy of GlobalAnimal.org.

  • Sloths are incredibly clumsy.
  • They sleep about 10 hours a day.
  • They prefer to be alone and only partner up to mate.

See? They're just like us — clumsy, tired, and love being alone except when they want to get laid.

They might not be majestic unicorns that can soar through the sky, but there's something to be said about hairy creatures that hang from trees and move impossibly slow. Why wait until 2019 to embrace your inner sloth-ness? These 29 items are available online and ready for the taking.

1Sloth Calendar

Sloths 2019 16 Month Wall Calendar 12 x 12 Inches

Amazon

Start 2019 on the right foot with a sloth calendar to keep track of all your important dates and commitments.

2Plant Holder + Plant

Sloth Air Plant

Etsy

This little guy from Etsy seller FunUsualSuspects comes with a plant in his arms to add a little something special to your home or office.

3Plush Toy

Bearington Simon Plush Three Toed Sloth Stuffed Animal, 10 inches

Amazon

Have you heard sloths make the *best* cuddle buddies at night? Simon the Sloth can be the little spoon.

4Wristlet

Sloth Key Fob

Etsy

Never lose your keys again. Grab one of these wristlets from QuirkyGirlGifts on Etsy, and bring a little sloth love with you everywhere you go.

5Stemless Wine Glass

Let's Get Slothed Funny 15 oz Stemless Wine Glass

Amazon

This is the only appropriate way to get tipsy. Fact.

6Sequin Pillow

Sloth Sequin Pillow

Etsy

You know what your home has been missing all this time? A sequin sloth pillow. Thankfully, memeskins sells them on Etsy.

7Pencil Case

LParkin Sloth Students Super Large Capacity Canvas Pencil Case

Amazon

Perfect for the office or the classroom, this sloth pencil case is the ideal way to keep all your writing tools organized.

8Car Decal

Sloth Sticker, Car Decoration, Car Sticker, Sloth Decal

Etsy

If you've been driving around without a sloth car decal, you've been doing life wrong. Grab one from WawooShop on Etsy.

9PopSocket

Sloth - Cute Sloth Gift - PopSockets Grip and Stand for Phones and Tablets

Amazon

"But I already have, like, five different PopSockets," you say. Maybe, but do you have a sloth one? No? Enough said.

10Mug

Sloth Before And After Coffee Mug

Etsy

Etsy seller mittenmugs understands two things: sloths and coffee. This mug is *so* relatable.

11Adult Coloring Book

Sloth coloring book for adults: (Animal Coloring Books for Adults)

Amazon

Your life just took a turn for the AWESOME, because you've never owned a coloring book like this.

12Keychain

Hairy Slother Keychain

Etsy

You can never have too many keychains, and your collection isn't complete until you have a Harry Potter- and sloth-themed one. These are available from PeachyApricot on Etsy.

13Hot Cocoa Gift Set

Slo-Mo Cocoa Sloth Mug and Cocoa Mix Gift Set

Amazon

This isn't just a sloth mug. It comes with hot cocoa mix, to warm even the coldest of hearts.

14Wine Labels

Let's Hang - Sloth - Wine Bottle Labels

Etsy

No bottle of vino is complete without sloth wine labels. Get them from BigDotOfHappiness on Etsy.

15Notebook

You Are Awesome: Sloth Notebook

Amazon

Jot down important notes and reminders, but don't do it in a plain notebook. Do it in a ~sloth~ notebook.

16Wall Art

Multicoloured Sloth Print from the Original Watercolour Painting: "Hang in there"

Etsy

Your wall decor just hit an entirely new level. JoannaWenczkaDesign sells these on Etsy.

17Page Markers

Sloths i-Clips Magnetic Page Markers (Set of 8 Magnetic Bookmarks)

Amazon

How else do you expect to keep track of where you left off in your book?

18Wearable Hooded Blanket

Thnapple Slothy Sloth Wearable Hooded Blanket

Etsy

Dreams really do come true. Buy yours from Thnapple on Etsy.

19Picture Hangers

Fred SLOTHS ON A VINE Picture Hangers, Set of 6

Amazon

What's that you say? You always just hang pictures on the fridge with magnets? You're WRONG.

20Lunch Tote Bag

21Hooded Neck Pillow

Chibiya Sloth Hooded Animal Travel Neck Pillow

Amazon

Never again do you have to fall asleep on a plane in an uncomfortable position and wake up with a horrible neck cramp.

22Garden Decor

Sloth with Solar Lights Garden House Outdoor Decor by Bo Toys

Amazon

Is he dressed as a CPA? ... A school principal? Whatever. This sloth is going to make your front yard look fancy AF.

23Drawstring Backpack

Showudesigns Sloth Gympack String Sack Drawstring Backpack

Amazon

From the office to cocktails, this bag can go anywhere.

24Phone Case

iPhone 8/iPhone 7 Case

Amazon

It's always a good time for a sloth phone case.

25Tea Infuser

Fred SLOW BREW Sloth Tea Infuser

Amazon

Enjoy a nice cup of tea the way the gods intended you to.

26Shower Curtain

Slothzilla Funny Waterproof Shower Curtain

Amazon

Isn't this a magnificent work of sloth art?!

27Drink Markers

Fred SOCIAL CLIMBERS Sloth Drink Markers, Set of 6

Amazon

Keep track of everyone's cocktail glasses so you don't spread cooties.

28Eye Mask

Sloth Sleep Mask

Etsy

Catch your beauty rest while simultaneously scaring the crap out of your bed mate. You can get these from appendageaccessories on Etsy.

29Sloth Xing Sign

Sloth Crossing Sign Zone Xing

Amazon

It's not like you have to worry about them making any sudden movements, but a heads up is always nice.