Barring the obvious — like in the middle of someone's wedding or a funeral — there's not really a bad time to have sex. Still, I'd say there's a general feeling that weekends are one of the best times to have sex, probably because most people are super busy during the typical workweek. It's understandable why the whole 'stay in bed on a Sunday and have a sex marathon' fantasy is appealing. Hanging out and getting frisky on the weekend days lets you relax, indulge your lazy side, and provides the opportunity for hours and hours of cuddling (and who doesn't love that?). But what if I told you that weekend sex is actually kinda overrated?
"Getting it on during the weekend is expected: the idea, if not the reality, is that you have extra time to spend together and part of that time will be spent doing it" Kaitlyn Scalisi, Intimacy and Relationship Coach and Founder of Passion by Kait, tells Bustle. "Weekday intercourse is unexpected; it goes against the norm. Making time for sex during the week is a powerful statement that you and your partner truly value being physically intimate. It's so important that you're willing to miss going out with friends, taking a class, etc. because you prioritize 'us' time."
Here are five reasons weekend sex is overrated — consider this your excuse to light the fire and get things going, even if it's a Monday.
1Weekend Sex Feels Routine
"Weekend sex for some couples may be the only time that they can make time for it, and if this is the case then keep up the weekend sex," Dawn Michael, PhD, Relationship Expert and Clinical Sexologist, tells Bustle. But if you get in the habit of having sex when you wake up every Saturday a.m., it might start to feel like just another chore or errand that you do on the weekend.
Luckily, there are plenty of ways to ever-so-slightly shake up your routine. "For those that have more flexibility in their schedules, noontime sex can be super fun," Michael says. Bumping your weekend sex back a few hours can make things feel more playful (because you're hopping back into bed at lunchtime instead of, say, grocery shopping), which can make sex spontaneous and fun.
2Atypical Work Schedules Are Something To Consider
"A partner who works from home often has a need for communication, connection, or sex from their partner upon his or her return from work and is often met with a conflicting need to wind down from the day," sex therapist Stefani Threadgill tells Bustle. "Occupation is also relevant. For example, a loan officer might not have a preference on weekday vs weekend…until it is EOM (end of month)." If you and your partner have different work schedules, it's important to take both of those into consideration, rather than letting the partner with the more typical work sched dictate when and where sex happens.
3The Expectation Of Post-Date Night Sex Can Ruin The Mood
There's nothing wrong with getting down after a romantic night out, but for long-term couples, even date nights can start to feel formulaic: dinner, drinks, sex, sleep. "I often hear from couples that sex is expected on date nights, much like it is expected on anniversaries and vacations," Threadgill says. "Expectation is the antidote to desire, which involves anticipation, ambiguity, and surprise." If your Friday night always feels the same, mixing things up by having more sex during the weekdays or at odd hours can be a good way to ensure that date night sex doesn't start to feel stale because it's the one time a week you and your partner are intimate.
4Having Weekday Sex Can Be A #TBT To Your Early Days As A Couple
"When couples first meet, weekday or weekend sex is not a consideration; they have sex whenever and wherever they can!" Threadgill says. "Long-term couples prefer weekend sex. Relaxation is a prerequisite to orgasm; therefore, weekends reign." But if you're in a long-term relationship and you're feeling the need to shake things up, incorporating sex into your weekday schedule can be a fun way to feel like your younger, hornier selves again (and who wouldn't want that?).
5Weekday Sex Can Help You De-Stress
One of the main reasons so many couples fall into a routine of having sex on the weekends is that weekends are the time we associate with relaxation. Although it may sound difficult to slip into a sexy mindset when you've been at work for 10 hours on a Tuesday, it might behoove you to give it a shot, because having all those feel-good chemicals like dopamine flood your brain upon orgasm are an excellent way to de-stress after a hard day.
"I encourage couples to reconnect to their internal cues," Threadgill says. "Sex drive is a drive, and is located in the same brain region as the drive for hunger and thirst. In American culture, norms have been created for mealtimes and what is acceptable on the menu, much like sex. Anywhere we live, these norms exist. Eat when you are hungry and have sex when you are aroused. It need not matter if it is 3 a.m. on a Wednesday."
You heard the expert — so go forth and have sex whenever the urge strikes, norms be damned.