While summer has the average person chowing down on fresh fruit and iced tea, I'm the one who's like, "Where's the dessert table?" Sadly, as soon as the ice cream hits my stomach, I'm all "BRB" so I can go die in peace. If you have a sweet tooth but dairy just doesn't sit well with you, I've got six dairy-free desserts to get excited about this summer — perfect for the beach, your neighbor's backyard BBQ, or, you know, when you're sitting in bed alone in your flannels watching reruns of Golden Girls and talking to your dog about life.
Don't judge me!
The food industry is a heck of a lot more inclusive than it used to be, and these days, you can almost always get your hands on something dairy-free. Actually, did you know roughly 65 percent of the population can't fully digest lactose after infancy? That's a fun fact from the Genetics Home Reference, but don't tell any of your friends. Otherwise, at the Fourth of July party, everyone's going to want your dairy-free treats, which means less dessert for you, and that's never a good thing.
If you're looking to indulge minus the dairy, here are six desserts you need in your kitchen, like, yesterday.
1. Halo Top
Were you aware Halo Top has a rather generous selection of dairy-free flavors? It's true! If you're more traditional, go for chocolate. If you want to spice things up a bit, how does pancakes and waffles sound? They're so effing good, you won't even realize they're vegan and soy-free. It's just like magic... only better, because it's ice cream and you get to eat it.
I know what you're thinking: "That stuff ain't dairy-free!" Au contraire, pal. In fact, Reddi-Wip just introduced a non-dairy almond and coconut milk whipped topping that's going to rock your world. And! They don't have any artificial flavors or preservatives, or gluten! If you want to play coy about it, you can dabble a little on your fruit. Otherwise, I suggest consuming it straight from the bottle.
3. Hemp Milk Alcohol
If there's a combination better than chocolate cookies, brownies, and rum, I can't think of it. Satisfy your sweet tooth and your craving for an alcoholic beverage with something like BOM BOM's Fully Baked, which is the first alcoholic drink made with hemp milk. It sounds like dessert in a glass, and I bet it tastes dope mixed with a little coffee. Now you can enjoy some of your favorite treats without having the stomach gurglies after. This is winning.
4. Vodka Ice Pops
If you don't want to melt into a puddle this summer, you might love these vodka ice pops from Slim Chillers. The take-it-with-you cocktail in popsicle form is perfect for all your favorite summer activities, from picnics in the park to tanning by the pool to hitting the beach to catch some waves. Just watch out for the brain freeze.
5. Trader Joe's Ice Cream
Joe is always there when we need him. This time, he's coming in clutch with dairy-free ice cream, and even dairy-free ice cream sandwiches. I know when Trader Joe's comes up in the conversation, I'm usually talking about their roasted plantain chips (and for a good reason: they're delicious on a whole new level), but Joe knows how to do it sweet just as well as he can do it salty.
Okay, okay, one more! It wasn't all that long ago Haagen-Dazs introduced dairy-free ice cream, and now we can indulge in flavors like coconut caramel, mocha chocolate, and crunchy peanut butter. Plus, they have non-dairy ice cream bars. If anyone knows how to do dessert, it's HD, so you can trust these are tasty in 50 different ways. Sign. Me. Up.