Spicing up your sex life
can feel like a daunting task, but it doesn't have to be. Sure, some people might be into trying costumes, techy toys, and increasingly kinkier scenarios — and that stuff can definitely be a lot of fun. But sometimes, mixing it up just means trying out a new sex position . No matter how big or how small the change, doing something new can keep your sex life from becoming boring. Because boring sex (you know the kind when you're zoning out and thinking about what to eat for lunch tomorrow) means you're not engaging and connecting with your partner.
You probably already know that your largest and most important sex organ is your mind," Dr. Sherry A. Ross, women's health expert and author of , tells Bustle. "It's what makes all the parts come together in what can — and should — be a satisfying experience." And if you want to keep your mind engaged and keep yourself from drifting off, trying a new position that you really have to focus on is a great way to be present and connect with your partner. She-ology. The Definitive Guide to Women's Intimate Health
Here are some sex positions that are anything but boring, so you'll sure to be focused on the task at hand.
How To Do It: Well, I hope you stretched first. Have your partner move into a crab position — yup, just like gym class — then you do the same and scurry over toward them. Raise up sightly so you can guide them inside of you, using lube if necessary. Why It's Not Boring: It's such an unusual and animalistic position. Plus, with a view like that, it's basically impossible to be bored. How To Do It: It's traditional doggy style, but you can try getting your favorite toy involved to mix things up. You can be in control of it or, depending on the angle, hand it over to your partner to use, while you just enjoy. Why It's Not Boring: Doggy style is already a really intense position with great G-spot stimulation, and adding a vibrator just means you can get all of the intensity... everywhere.
Bouncing Reverse Cowgirl
How To Do It: Adjust reverse cowgirl by putting your legs in front of you with your knees bent and feet flat on the bed — there's more space for bouncing this way. You can sit in between their legs or put your legs outside of theirs, so there is lots of room to experiment and find what works best. Why It's Not Boring: It gives you more room to mess around than regular reverse cowgirl, while still being a really sexy and confidence-boosting position. How To Do It: You may be looking at this position and thinking "WTF!?" but it's easier than it looks. Start in cowgirl and — bracing yourself against your partner — slowly lower yourself down. You can lay between their legs or, if that's too much of a stretch, put a pillow on top of them. Why It's Not Boring: I mean, it's not a position that you see every day. You get to relax back and enjoy an unusual angle and still have great access for clit play. How To Do It: Facing your partner, hike one leg over their hip while you guide them inside of you. Props can help with this position to get the alignment right — and don't be shy with the lube. If you feel shaky, try it near a wall or by the bed for your first time or two. Why It's Not Boring: You're having sex standing up while balancing on one leg. It's definitely, definitely not boring. How To Do It: While your partner lays down, face away from them and straddle one leg as they lift their knee up. Slowly lower down onto them and then bump and grind away. Why It's Not Boring: It's not the kind of position you'll accidentally slip into, so it's definitely new and different. They get a great view, you get to be in control, and you both get a really exciting change. How To Do It: It's pretty straightforward — one of you lays back while the other just sits on your damn face. You can take turns controlling the pressure and the alignment, add a sex toy, do whatever feels great. Just make sure you both get a turn. Why It's Not Boring: It's intense, intimate, and totally sexy — this position is way too ~in your face~ to be boring (sorry not sorry).
Sometimes, you just need a position that's going to snap you out of your comfort zone. Luckily, these positions will get you out of a rut and back to connecting with your partner.