Dating can be frustrating and disappointing. Sometimes, searching for your soulmate can seem like a never ending quest. But there may be a good reason for it. According to experts, there are some hard lessons you need to learn before you're actually ready to meet your soulmate.
"Research indicates that 94 percent of people in their 20s agreed with the statement 'when you marry, the most important thing is that your partner is your soulmate,'" Dr. Marianne Dainton, relationship expert, author, and professor of communication at La Salle University, tells Bustle. "But the problem is in the very notion of what people think a soulmate is."
The idea of a soulmate is rooted in the belief that you and another person are meant to be. Because it's "predetermined," your relationship should be effortless. But according to Dr. Dainton, there are two major problems with these beliefs. "First, this puts the benchmark so high you will probably never find someone who can live up to it," she says. "Second, if you do find someone who can live up to it, they can’t live up to it forever."
But people aren't perfect. "Relationships are messy, and there is a reason why people say that relationships involve work," Dr. Dainton says. So according to her, you need to have a healthy definition of what a "soulmate" actually is before you can meet yours. But that's not all. If you haven't learned the following hard lessons, experts say you may not be quite ready for your soulmate just yet.