7 Reasons To Date Yourself, Because You Deserve All The Good Things In This Life

Date nights are fun, right? You get to get a little bit dressed up, do your makeup specially, and do something different. Earlier in 2019 I documented the first time I ate alone and how completely terrifying I thought it would be. Obviously I survived to tell the tale and I even enjoyed it. It sowed the seed that, since self love is so hot right now, taking myself out every so often is a pretty fantastic idea. You can forget having arguments about what kind of food you want to eat and you might start to see a serious change in your mood. So here are seven reasons to date yourself.

One of the reasons I love dating is because it means you can go out and do exciting things. However, there are lines with what you can ask a first date to do and sometimes partners don’t share all of your passions. After taking myself out for dinner at the beginning of 2019 I became a little bit hooked on dating myself. Since then I haven’t missed a weekly outing. Whether it’s something small like taking my book to a coffee shop, to entire days where I explore galleries and restaurants I refuse to cancel or cheat on myself. I’d stopped doing things I love because I either didn’t have someone to do it with or the person I was dating wasn’t interested. There are some serious reasons to set some time aside in your busy schedule to treat yourself.

1. It Builds Your Independence

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One of the things I was most terrified about when I first started going out by myself was that I’d look like a loner or I’d be bored. When I sat down for that first meal it was a little unnerving being surrounded by couples. But then my pizza came and I realised no one really cared whether I was alone or not. Going out to eat or do an activity by yourself is such a healthy way to push yourself out of your comfort zone and build your independence.

2. You Deserve It

I’m a firm believer that you’ve got to treat yourself in this life. When you spend all week working, supporting your friends and family, and trying to live your best life you deserve to set a little bit of time apart to pamper yourself. Whether that means slinking off to a coffee shop for an hour, buying yourself some flowers, or going to that restaurant you’ve wanted to eat at you’ve got to spend a little time loving yourself and knowing you’re worthy. So, in the words of the high goddess Lizzo you deserve to feel “good as hell.”

3. It's A Great Time Out

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So often I’ve got my phone glued to my hand, my laptop in front of me, and six to-do lists on the go. Modern life makes it hard to just stop. But when you’re sat in the nook of a coffee shop with nothing but a book and your thoughts you get the space to just indulge in quietness. I’d never check my phone on a date and I treat the dates with myself the same. No Instagram, no messenger, just the book that I’ve been trying to read all summer and my internal monologue.

4. There's No Pre-Date Discussion

As a Libra I'm painfully indecisive. One of the worst things about dates is deciding where to go and what to do. My dream is someone turning up and telling me what I’m having for dinner. When I go on dates by myself I’ve got to be my own dream. You can eat what you want without compromise. It doesn’t matter if you don’t fancy dinner at all, just skip straight to dessert. There’s no rules when it comes to dating yourself.

5. You Get To Explore

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The most frustrating thing can be wanting to go somewhere and either not having anyone to go with or having to wait around for someone to clear their schedule. By setting a little bit of time for yourself you can visit exhibitions, explore your city like a tourist, or go to events without having to worry about what someone else is thinking. You never know, you might discover a new passion.

6. It's Time To Reflect

How often do you check in with yourself? While dating other people can be a lot of fun, it's also pretty draining. You’re giving up your precious free time to hang out with what’s sometimes a complete stranger. When you get in a rut of bad dates it can be hard not to internalise that. By committing even one hour of your week to sitting quietly somewhere to reflect, thinking about what’s going on in your life, and maybe the odd bit of people watching you’ll feel more intune with yourself which will make going back to dating other people way easier.

7. It's A Great Way To Meet People

Garage Island Crew / Stocksy

I know this is counter-intuitive but hear me out. One person alone is far more approachable than a couple or a group. I have met some of the most interesting people in gallery cafes, at book events, and even in Wagamamas simply because I sat by myself. If you start taking yourself on dates to places that you’re interested in the likelihood is you’ll meet like-minded people. And who knows? Your solo date may get a plus one.

Treating the time you give yourself to do what you want to do with the same importance that you'd place on a date is super important. If it means that you start pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, doing things you want to do, and getting a bit of headspace it's so worth it. And there is no need to feel guilty. You're so worth it.